An Imperfect Beauty and Her Beast

A Change of Heart

 A/N Hey sorry for the little delay. School started and I had a bit of writer's block. I'll try to update at least once a week. Enjoy the chapter!

 Sun streamed in through the glass doors, making me wake up. My eyes were slits against the evil sun rays as I groaned in annoyance. 

I should’ve closed the curtains.

My eyes slowly opened and the unfamiliarity of the room made my heart skip a beat. The day before came rushing back, leaving me with a feeling of unsettlement at where I was.

 I looked over at the digital clock on the nightstand.

8:53

 I grumpily rolled of bed with my hair fluffy, curly, and all over my face. And somehow on the way to the bathroom, I jammed my pinkie toe into the bathroom doorframe causing pain to shoot through my foot.

 “Mother fu!” I stopped myself before I could scream anymore. I didn't know if someone was in listening range.

 What a wonderful way to start my day.

 I splashed water on my face and pulled my hair up with a clip. After, I found slippers at the front of my bed. The hallways were quiet as I wandered, trying to find the dining room.

 I should’ve waited until someone came.

 But, I took back the thought when I saw the familiar door of David’s study.

 Maybe he’s still in there.

The room was dark when I open the door and found David asleep on his desk with his head resting in his arms. The room was smaller than my room, but felt cozy. It had a desk, a couch, two small tables, a couple of lamps, and a large window with cushions attached with it. In the corner looked to be a small bureau. 

 Better not wake him up.

That’s when I saw his bookcase. The shelves had labels for every set of random books. ‘Favorites’ caught my eye when I scanned over each label. I read the back of every book and it all seemed to be either non-fiction or a biography. I’ve always loved fiction and fantasy so the favorite section didn’t spark my interest one bit.

David started snoring, making me jump. I clutched my heart on reflex as I shot an annoyed look at him. 

 The rest of the bookcase held history books and textbooks.

 He must be homeschooled.

 I never really thought about how he got his education. I never bothered to care.

Well why should I?

There were papers scattered all over his desk and some on the floor as well. The books lost my attention as I fully focused on what the papers contained. Not including any of the papers David was laying on; I picked all of them up. I sat down on the couch, scanning each one. Some were filled with sketches of people’s faces. Others had flowers and animals. The last page was crinkled and was the only one that had words. His hand writing was a very slanted and rushed srcipt, but I managed to read it. 

 I don’t think this is what life was meant to be. What happened to a loving family? To a happy life? The days are stretched to me and yet seem to pass before my eyes. It’s all becoming hopeless. I’m  so hopeless. And yet I say I don't want pity. When in reality, I give myself too much. There’s nothing left for me. I’m keeping all whom I care for from living their lives. Leaving this place is just a dream to me. It’s hard to believe I took it all for granted. I guess I’m too old for fairytale dreams. The happy endings, taunt me with something I will never have. Even if it were dangling right in front of me I’d mess up. I mess up everything that comes close to me. This curse has made me see myself and I’m now blinded by ugliness at the realization of who I was. But now I see that I need to stop running. I can't outrun what I did. I can't apologize enough for my actions. I'm not needed. I'm not wanted. I am a coward for not wanting to die sooner.