The Quiet Ones

7. Hide Your Heart

"What do you mean you're the leader?" I asked while I stared down at his wrist in awe.

"I'm the one who initiated you the other night and made you part of the team. I'm the one who controls the taggers."

"Why did you act all secretive about it then?"

"Because I didn't know if I could trust you yet. And now I know I can."

My mind spun while I tried to process everything at once. The thought never crossed my mind that the leader could be in our school. But then again, everyone on the team goes to our school, so I should've thought it through more logically.

"Wait, then what's your name?"

"Finn."

"Finn?"

"Yup."

I let go of his wrist and watched as he shifted he sleeve down to cover his skin and his bruise. When he was done adjusting the fabric, our eyes met and he gave me another smile. He's much less intimidating in school than he is when we're vandalizing.

"How about this, we start over from the beginning," I suggested.

"Sure, sounds good."

"Hey, my name's Parker. It's really nice to meet you."

"My name's Finn. It's nice to meet you too."

I smiled and shook his hand. His skin felt warm and comforting against mine, which came as a surprise because I thought it would be rough from all of the cuts and bruises he must get everytime he goes out.

"Well Parker, I have to get to class. But I'll see you tonight at ten. We'll talk more then, okay?"

I nodded and gave him a small wave as he threw his backpack over his shoulder and clutched onto the strap. He walked away and looked back at me before he turned the corner.

"Who was that?" Nathan asked while walking in my direction.

I let out a breath and turned around, preparing myself to face him and try to explain why it's okay for me to talk to other people. Even if what Avery said was true, about Nathan liking me, he still doesn't have a right to control my life and make decisions for me. At least, not without admitting he has feelings for me first.

"That was Finn. He's one of my friends."

"Friends huh? What about me?" He asked.

"Nathan you're one of my best friends. I've just been meeting new people since-"

"Since you joined that dumb team, I know," he blurted out. I could see the hurt forming in his eyes, and a burning feeling in my chest formed because I felt bad that I was causing him pain.

"Look Nathan. I admit, I may get hurt and it may be dangerous. But you need to understand that I'm much happier since I joined the team."

"And what about me Parker? Huh? What about me and Avery? Are we not enough for you?"

"Not at all! I just wanted to try something different and meet some new people."

"Then I want to be in it."

"What?"

"I want to be on your team and I want to vandalize."

"Nathan it doesn't work that way. You can't just say that, you need to actually want to be on the team."

He sighed and ran his hands over his face. His skin burned red while his eyes grew tired from the constant fighting between the two of us. I don't blame him, I feel as emotionally drained as he does.

"Parker, I just want to be with you more. I miss you."

"And why is that?"

"Because we're friends?"

"I think there's more to that."

"There's not."

"There is."

"There's not."

"There is."

"There's not, okay Parker! That's all there is to it! What do you want to hear?" He screamed.

"You can't control my life Nathan. It's not fair to me!"

"Well I just want to keep you safe!"

"You don't have to do that! Why would you ever think that!"

"Because I love you Parker! I'm in love with you!"

I froze and watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. We were screaming at each other so much that we hadn't realized what we were really saying.

I clutched my hands and stared down at the tile flooring. I dug the top of my shoe against the hard surface and listened to the squeaking sound it made from the friction.

"Do you mean that?" I asked, finally looking back up at him and seeing tears form in his eyes.

"No."

I bit my lip and nodded, staring back down at the ground and my shoes. My face became hot from a mixture of sadness and anger. I don't know who or what to believe anymore.

"I think I have to go," I whispered while I tried to keep my voice from cracking.

"Parker wait."

But it was too late. I was already running down the hallway with tears streaming down my face and burning the corners of my eyes. I tried to catch my breath, but my lungs were already recovering from how much I was screaming at Nathan.

I ran into the bathroom and locked the stall door behind myself. I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped the dark and running mascara away from my eyes. I let out cries, not because I was sad about Nathan not liking me, but because I felt bad for myself. I had no idea why I felt this way, but I did.

I threw my backpack onto the ground and unzipped it, pulling out a box full of markers. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of that would give me an adrenaline rush. I began scribbling my signature mask onto my face with the washable markers I found in my bag. They're not as good as the paint, but they're the best thing I have right now.

When I finished my whole face was covered. I have no idea how I'll go about the rest of the day, but I felt much better when I saw my reflection staring back at me in my small compact mirror.

It's a look that makes me feel safe and secure, one that I go to when I feel alone. And right now, knowing the hell that's ahead of me, just sitting here and realizing that I'm safer in this moment is the only thing bringing me comfort.