Hey, it's me.
I wrote this in 2016, it is currently 2020. It's something I have thought about a lot since I wrote it and I regret writing it, I feel ashamed at the fact that I wrote. Which is why I've deleted it and have replaced it with this message. /TW/ mentions: mental health and self harm.
When I say that I regret writing this, it's not because it's fanfiction that I wrote when I was 13/14 and it's cringe worthy or whatever. It is because mental health, mental illnesses and self harm are serious topics. They are not topics to be flung around in fanfic's or romanticized, NOTHING ABOUT SELF HARM IS ROMANTIC.
Struggling with mental health, your self-image, the will to live is not romantic.
It is very serious and it affects too many young people and teenagers today.
When I wrote this I was immature, ignorant and very impressionable. I had read previous fanfic and books which romanticised this in the same way. I believed that if I was insecure, if I hated my body, that people would find me more attractive and want to date me. This is not what happened.
I have spent the last few years struggling with my mental health, with anxiety and depression, with my self-image and insecurity and with who I am as a person. I am doing much better now. I am not in a relationship and I am overjoyed to be. Trying to learn to love myself by myself is the best decision I have ever made.
If you are struggling with mental health.
If you are struggling with anxiety and depression.
If you are struggling with thoughts of self harm.
If you are struggling with loneliness.
If you are struggling with looking after yourself.
If you are struggling with not feeling like you.
Please reach out to someone you trust.
USA
Youth Helpline
1-800-668-6868
Suicide Prevention
1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project (LGBTQ+)
1-866-488-7386
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/
Canada
Youth Helpline
1-800-668-6868
https://kidshelpphone.ca/
Suicide Prevention
1-833-456-4566
UK
Youth Helpline
https://www.teenagehelpline.org.uk/
Suicide Prevention
0800 689 5652
NZ
Youth Helpline
0800 376 633 or text 234
https://www.youthline.co.nz/
Suicide Prevention
0800 543 354
https://www.lifeline.org.nz/
AUS
Youth Helpline
1800 55 1800
Suicide Prevention
1800 008 255
https://suicidepreventionpathways.org.au/make-a-referral/
Other
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
You are loved. You are valid. This will find it's place in your life. Just keep swimming. <3
