He actually left. He went home without me. Once again to be left alone. 5 letters 1 word. It scares me, what if I'm alone for the rest of my life? What if he doesn't actually love me, he's just waiting for the right time to leave me, for someone better, prettier, skinnier, funnier? I need to get home and make things better. I dashed out of the store running back home. The house seemed so far away. I just want to get out of these wet clothes and cuddle with my boyfriend. If he didn't break up with me that is. Sure he left but that's because I asked him to. He wouldn't give up, would he? At least I know he listens. I'm lucky enought to have someone like Liam. He actually cares, and trys to talk to me. I could have some one totally worst.
As I approached our door I hesitated if I should go in or not. What if he isn't here, what if he left me? What if I've disappointed him? What if.. What if he doesn't love me anymore? I guess the only way to figure out is to go in and face my fears. I mean it's Liam.. he doesn't even like to kill flies. As the door opened I slowly stepped inside. I was about to walk up to our room when he sat up resting his arm on the couch and rubbing is eyes.
"Babe?" His voice was deep and raspy.
"Liam. I a-"
"Quit talking and come lay with me." He opened his arms.
"Can I go change?" I bit my lip inching towards the stairs.
"Hurry!" He flopped back onto the couch. I dashed up the stairs jumping out of my wet clothes putting on dry ones and running back down stairs.
"Hurry up, I'm cold." He opened his arm lifting the blanket which I quickly jumped under. His arms wrapping protectively around me.
"Babe?"
"Yes Liam?" I closed my eyes.
"Please don't ever hurt yourself again. I love you." He shifted a little.
"I know Liam, I love you too." I avoided the first part. He yawned and shortly after I yawned to. It was true I do love him. But will he love me if I don't stop cutting? Will he look at me different? What happens when the paps find out? I have to do something, if I lose Liam I will be nothing. Because he completes me. Makes me feel safe even when I'm sleeping. Maybe counseling will help. Should I sign up for counseling? Well I will try it. I will try anything to make sure Liam doesn't leave me. Anything.
