"So do you feel that harming yourself really takes the pain away?" The some-what old lady clicked her pen.
"Yes. It does, because for that one second you aren't focused on what or who's causing the pain. You're focused on the blade on your wrist. I don't believe, I know." She nodded jotting stuff down on her paper.
"But is that the only way to take the pain away?"
"Everyone is addicted to something that takes the pain away. Some cases are just different." I sighed the tears starting to form in my eyes.
"So what makes yours different?"
"What makes my story different? Maybe it's the fact my dad left, my mom doesn't care, my 'friends' are two faced, and I'm alone. Liam does what ever he can to make it so I don't feel alone but it's a darkness that surrounds my heart. He's my light but the dark always comes back."
"Do you love him?"
"Liam? Yes, I love him more than I love anything in this world!" You took a sip of water from the paper cup.
"Love? Or lust?"
"Are you kidding me? It's love. Definitely love."
"But how do you know if it's love if he's never around?"
"I know. Because when we are together it feels right, we cherish every moment we get together. When he's around he makes me happy, I forget about the pain everyone causes me because Liam takes it away. When he is gone I find myself thinking about him night and day. I feel empty and alone. That doesn't sound like lust to me."
"No it doesn't. Are you glad to have someone who cares? Someone that didn't leave you?"
"Oh you mean like my father. I guess I fear losing Liam because I've lost everyone else. I fear that every time he leaves.. That it's for the last time. I'm insecure and I've seen the girls that go to their concerts. I know how they dress. It doesn't make me feel any better about myself..." I tried to look any where other than her eyes. I never open up to anyone, this isn't even something I've told Liam. Why do I trust this lady, I don't know her. She doesn't know me!? So why does it seem different. Maybe that's why.. I don't know her and she doesn't know me soo she shouldn't judge me. I've got a story to tell. I looked at my wrist gently going over the scars and cuts.
"Do you regret it?" Her eyes pointed towards my wrists.
"No, I did it to myself, perfectly aware of what I was doing. It was my choice."
"Okay, Elizabeth you've said enough today. How about we talk more about this next week, Friday at 1pm?" She closed her book getting out of her desk.
"Yea, see you then." I walked out of the doors. Waiting outside for Liam to come pick me up. We were just going to stay in today and cuddle because he leaves tomorrow morning at 2. I felt the depression spread across my body, he's leaving again and I have to not cut, because it's for Liam. I can do it for him, and if not him then myself. He pulled up to the curb in his white jeep. I hopped in throwing my bag into the back seat. When I snapped my head back he surprised me with a kiss.
"Oh! Hello to you too." I winked pulling away.
"I'm just in a good mood." He grabbed your hand, only driving with one hand.
"Why are you in a good mood?" He is leaving tomorrow! Why could he possibly be in a good mood!? Is he crazy.
"I get to spend all day with you, nobody else, just you." He smiled again. Pulling into the your driveway and opening your door and chasing me into the house.
"Liam!" I squealed running into the house and up the stairs as fast as I could. Pulling my pants down and putting on my bed shorts and one of his shirts. He came running into the room out of breath.
"It's about time!" I ran to the bed.
"I know.. Lets get this party started!" He put a pair of basketball shorts on. I scooted over on the bed making room for him. He pulled the covers over you guys and I wrapped my arms around him and resting my head on his chest.
"I love you Elizabeth." He breathed into my ear.
"I love you too Liam." For hours we just laid in bed and talked about all the things he did on tour, and then he got sad. Was he just now realizing he was leaving in less than 5 hours.
"Elizabeth.." He whispered softly his voice cracking.
"Yes babe?" You got out of the spot and straddling him, resting your hands on his chest.
"After we leave for the rest of this tour. I'm done.. We're done. One Direction are coming to an end." He sighed. A tear rolled down his cheek.
"Liam.. Maybe it's for the best.." You bent down kissing his nose.
"But what I'm doing after it, you probably won't like.. I've already signed up and I'll leave a week after I get home.."
"What is it Liam?"
"I love you I really do but I'm leaving.. and going to.."
Cliff Hanger!!! (: I love you all so keep reading!
~Michaela<3
