Company

Chapter 119

"You're confusing... I'm confusing." Tae said with her eyes closed. She tried to keep them open but they stung from her crying, they had turned blood red, and she didn't care to keep them open. "I'm confusing myself, I love you, I haven't spoken to you since the 2nd it's now the 24th of January. I'm not ok, I'm not fine, I'm not content. You hurt me. You insulted me. Of all women. Why Melissa?... And Rihanna? When were you going to tell me about that after the video came out?"

Drake was quite. He was still trying to place words in the right order. For the first time he couldn't. He only got as far as talking her into not leaving. She laid under the cover in a pair of his sweats and a sports bra. He laid on top of the covers still fully dressed, his head laid on her stomach. Every few seconds she felt him place a kiss to her abdomen. "No excuse. Melissa shouldn't of happened. Rihanna was a business decision, it was another power move, AubRih fans hadn't had any music from us for a few years now. It was time for something. It may not look like business but trust me... Trust probably isn't the best word to use, but that's what it is and was. Rih and I don't work. We don't know how to be in a relationship we don't know how to be a couple and I've come to terms with that, I came to terms with that a long time ago." The words had finally began falling out Drake's mouth. He was thinking too hard. He knew better than to do that.

Another silent pause, this time coming from Tae as she digested his words. "You wanted nothing to do with Melissa?"

"You saw the txts." He simply reminded her, he kept his answer short not wanting to speak her up. "What do you need?"

Tae wasn't sure what he was asking, but knowing Drake, she thought deeper into the question. "Time. Consistency. A Guarantee."

Drake stressed for a moment at the depth of both words. She was asking him to look at her as if she was a die hard Drake fan, knowing he'd do anything for them, staying consistent with his music and career, guaranteeing them the greatest music he and 40 could possibly produce. She wasn't asking for an apology, or a long speech about what he could and can do to fix everything. She was asking him for action, she was asking him to put forth the same energy he did with his career and fans into his relationship. Tae knew the strength of what she was asking and Drake knew she knew. Whether or not he could commit to this was on him. 

Drake realized the words in his head weren't necessarily words for conversation, they were lyrics. He quickly sat up and reached in his pocket for his blackberry, nothing hit his hand, he reached in his other pocket, still nothing. Tae looked at him knowingly.

"Go ahead, I know you were already in the middle of a session." She said quietly. Drake frowned as he turned his head looking back at her, was this a test? Already? They hadn't even confirmed getting back together, she just said she needed time. Drake began to slightly panic. "It's ok." She gave him a serious look then curled back under the covers. He didn't want to leave her but he had to get these scattered words together.

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A gritty steady beat with multiple bells a heavy drum kick played as Drake entered back into the studio. 40 stood up in front of the mixing board staring down at his phone. His fingers moved quickly across the screen as he nodded his head to the current beat he was working on, though he felt it wasn't perfect the more Drake heard it the more his mood began to change. He typed out multiple single words in his blackberry getting them out his mind and on the device for later reference when the time was right.

"Everything ok?" 40 asked turning around and reaching across the table that was behind him to grab his tea that was cooling off in a large white mug.

"Yea, Tae came back." Drake said still typing out words.

"She came back?..." 40 repeated making sure he heard him right. "Like came back to you?"

Drake stopped typing and looked up. "No, she came to get the bit of her clothes... I kind of talked her into stopping and just chilling a bit."

40 frowned, still a little confused, he held the mug to his lips and took a sip. A pre-rolled joint tucked behind his left ear for his convince. "So? She's still here? Is this back on? Or..."

Drake shook his head. "No, she gone need time, I know she does. She iffy dog."

"You're nervous." 40 observed.

Drake covered his mouth for a moment as he stared down at the floor lost in his thoughts. "She gone change on me." He was unsure and sure at the same time.

"So why bother with it.. If you are so sure of this, you sound sure." 40 knew this conversation was only giving Drake more material. It was pressure of any type of situation that put Drake at his best.

"I don't want her to, I don't want me to be the reason she went cold on me. She's a good girl, she never crossed me, or made me tink any different of her." Drake said still staring down at the floor.

"You caused it." 40 confirmed.

"Not purposely. That's not an excuse though. It was something that shouldn't of happened, my mind cleared as soon as Melissa was done." Drake confessed.

"You kept hush." 40 sat down, he was extremely calm as he spoke to Drake, keeping his words short, and allowing Drake to run at the mouth.

"To protect her... Her feelings, To keep her from leaving... My own selfish reasons."

"If she does change?" 40 continued digging. Drake was silent. He was silent for longer than he wanted to be, he honestly didn't know what to say so he remained quiet. "Indecisive with your words. Don't be something you hate." 40 said spinning the studio chair around, his back to Drake as he began tampering with the almost finished beat.

Drake didn't want to say what he was thinking. He didn't want to put it out as a possibility. "Then it won't work. We won't work. I have no one to blame but myself."

"You can live with the fact that you're the reason to her negative thoughts of you?" 40's back was still turned to him.

"No."

"What she ask?"

"Guarantee. Consistency. Time."

"She that important to you?"

Drake went silent again, 40 remained patient. He looked up at the recording booth and leaned back in his chair. "Yes."

Just like that Drake went from if a relationship happens then it happens, it wasn't something he was looking for or rushing. His career and music was his relationship, his girlfriend, wife, and truly had been for years. The women that came in between were just small adventures to add to the relationship he already had. It was like a threesome for him. A threesome of past ex's and perfect music. Music he was known for.