Could This Be Love?

Chapter Eight: Letting Go

I woke up with a slight pressure and warmth near me, I shifted my head and looked up and saw Jakes face there. He looked so peaceful while sleeping, I didn't want to wake him up. I took my phone from my bedside table and took a picture of him - might be creepy to others but I know he'd probably do the same. I take about three and then lay back down on his chest as I feel something small crawl into the bed.

"Hey Ginger." I say to my orange cat. She came up and lay right on my face and snuggled there then started purring - this caused Jake to stir.

"Stop it." He mumbles and moves in his sleep pushing Ginger away. This would generally make her angry but for some reason instead of her lashing out like she usually did - she just came back and instead cuddled in between the both of us. - I hope she doesn't start liking Jake better than me.

This felt nice, I can imagine us doing this in the future - it would be me, Jake and our cute little animal in bed. Or maybe a baby - okay maybe that's thinking too far forward. My phone starts buzzing and I pick it up - its a text from Erik.

Erik ~ Morning. Let me in, please.

I was contemplating whether to let him in or not because I was with Jake now, but then again it was really cold outside and it wouldn't be really nice of me to leave him there - even if he does probably deserve it.

I walk downstairs and open the door to see him standing there with a thick jacket, beanie and big boots with dark pants of course. He looked adorable wearing that beanie and Jacket - his eyes stood out from his pale face along with his bright red kissable lips.

"Hey." I said awkwardly showing him inside.

"Jen, I've missed you." He said quickly giving me an unexpected hug. My arms slowly began to wrap around him as he was holding me tight. It felt good to be in his arms again, I honestly really missed this - maybe I wasn't really over him? I closed my eyes and fell deeper into his embrace as he seemed to hold me tighter towards him.

"So what's up?" I asked as he sat down on the couch while I made us hot chocolate.

"Well I wanted to talk to you." He said as I sat down next to him crossing my legs.

"Okay talk away I'm all ears." I honestly couldn't contain the excitement in myself - I really hope he wants me back just so I can shut him down like he did to me. Just for payback - but I obviously would get back together with him, I'm not that cruel.

'But what about Jake?' My subconscious asks me - I'll get to that part of the boat when I reach it.

"Well first Merry Christmas." He says handing me a small box. Oh my goodness it looks like a ring box - is he going to propose? I'm not ready for this! I take a deep breath and open the box cautiously - earring's...?

"Earring's?" I say out loud probably sounding like an unappreciative spoilt brat, why did I even think he was going to propose to me? - Idiot!

"You don't like them?" He asks his face falling in disappointment.

"No, I do, I love them. I was just surprised, thank you so much Erik. It really means a lot." Jakes Christmas present was defiantly better - although I should be appreciative and not so ungrateful.

"Great." He says smiling at me. "So I know this is probably going to be really weird but you and I have been through so much together and you were my first love. So I was just wondering if we could still be friends?" He finished with a small smile.

My heart felt like it was being crushed all over again - but I didn't want to show it on my face. I felt tears threatening to spill and I was struggling to contain them but I wouldn't show him I cared.

"Yeah I'd really like that," I replied breathing in a fake smile, friends."

"I'm so happy, and I was really hoping you could meet Sophie. She would really like to meet you, and it would be really great to see you two getting along." He said giving me such a genuinely happy smile.

He is so happy and probably in love with her, I couldn't stand in the way of that, I had to let go of my attachment to him. Or maybe I didn't have to - maybe being friends is being a good thing because I can still have a small part of him. Even if I'm not the one he is in love with.

"We could get together tomorrow, if you're free?" He suggested.

"Sure, can Jake come along?" I asked.

"Yeah, well I have to get going." He said getting up and placing his cup on the counter and walking towards the door.

"Bye Erik." I say standing there as he embraced me in another hug.

"Goodbye Teddy Bear." He said using the pet name he gave to me when we were dating. He placed a lingering kiss on my forehead and was out the door. As soon as he left I slipped down against the door and tears sprung from my eyes and I just couldn't contain the emotions anymore.

I was finally feeling the weight being lifted off my shoulders - but I didn't want to let it go. It wanted to stay there and not leave and I wanted to let it. But then eventually I let out a shaky breath and let everything all out and cried into my knees.

After a while of sitting there I realised that someone had come down the stairs and was sitting next to me, I could tell it was Jake. He didn't say anything and neither did I, we were just in a comfortable silence. Crying really helped - I defiantly feel so much better now - he came closer to me and put his arms around me and lifted me up and just held me in his arms for a while.

Neither of us needed to say anything - he knew I wasn't well and didn't want to talk about it and he wasn't pushing me. I liked how much he respected my wishes - he was just my perfect fit.
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