Loving You. . .

Death and Murdered

"If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, keep me in your heart and I'll stay there forever." Winnie the Pooh

I wake up to my mom sobbing. I turn to look at her and I try my best to give her a smile. She looks at me and sobs harder.

"Mommy, don't cry." I hold her hand, trying to reassure her.

"I thought you were gone. Princess, me and your father have died a thousand deaths for the past two weeks." She bends down to kiss my hand.

"I've been asleep for two weeks? Was I in a coma?"

"No sweetheart, the doctors said that it was all you. You didn't want to wake up, every part of you body was working perfectly. You were choosing not to wake up. You didn't want to face reality." She tells me.

"I lost my baby?" I know I did, but I need to hear it from someone.

"Yeah, they tried everything they could, but they made us choose. They said that if they saved the baby that by the time you gave birth you would be too weak. You wouldn't have made it."

"Who made the decision? You know that I love kids. Everyone knows that. I wouldn't have cared if I died." I look at her with anger.

"The father." What?

"The father?" I ask through my teeth.

"Alexander said that it was his decision to make. He was the father, you should have seen the pain in his eyes when he told the doctors that he wanted you to live." I take my hand away from hers.

"Where is he now?" She can hear the anger in my voice.

"He is with your father right now. He hasn't left your bedside since he woke up."

"Call him. I want to see him, NOW."
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I hear the door open and I turn to look at him. Him. The man that took my baby. He sees my eyes open and he runs to my side. He takes my hand but I move it away.

"My baby." Is all that comes out of my mouth.

"Mimi, I'm so sorry you were hurt. I lost control of the car, I wanted to stop but I was too late. You were hurt because of me."

"I don't care about my hurt. You get used to it after a couple of times. But what I will never forgive you is for deciding my child's fate."

"Mimi, it was you or the baby. I couldn't live with myself if you were gone."

"How can you live with yourself knowing that I will never see my child. I will never get to hold her. I would die with her, my angel. Congrats Alex, you have killed the last strip of hope I had." I look at him straight in the eyes, so he can see the hate, the sadness, and the anger. "I gave you all of me. Every single part of me and all you have done is take everything from me.
When did you turn into Jenna? When did I deserve revenge? All I did was love you with everything in me. I gave you my life, my future, my innocence, my first child, and you took it all and destroyed it with your words and actions." I grab his shirt and I pull him close to me, our noses are touching. "I hate you. And I hope you never forget the look of hatred on face." I let go of him.

"Mimi..."

"Don't. Only family calls me Mimi."

"Mia, I'm so sorry. I did it all for you."

"LEAVE." I scream at him. "Don't ever come near me again."

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"Mimi, everything is packed and ready to go." I see Vanessa leaning on the doorframe. I turn back to look at the room that I have been in for the past three weeks, I was only awake for one.

"We have to go, Mia. I'll protect you.
Always." She knows why I'm so reluctant to leave. No one here could hurt me, I was safe and out there I wasn't.

I turn and look at her.

"I never thought I would walk into a hospital pregnant and come out empty handed." I stare at her and all I see is Alexander. "I never though Alexander would be at fault."

"You know he is hurting too, right?" She walks closer to me. "It was his child too, don't forget that."

"She."

"What?"

"I had a dream while I was a sleep. My angel was a she." I touch her hair. "She looked like you guys. She had the same hair as you and him. She had his color eyes, and your small frame." I let go of her hair and I grab her hand.
"She looked like an angel."

A tear escapes her eye.

"I was her auntie."

"Yes. And he took that from you. I have been dreaming of what would have happened to her if he choose her." I take a deep breath. "You would have taken care of her for me. My parents would have helped and every day of her life you would remind her of how much I love her. She would have never known sadness, or loneliness."

I start walking towards the door.

"But we both know it will never happen. Thanks to Alexander."

We walk out of the room and my nurse walks to me.

"Everything will be alright. It's not always going to be dark, one day the sun will rise and it will be a beautiful day." She gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Your angel will always be in your heart. Make her your strength, not your weakness."