Loving You. . .

Pain and Sadness

"Grief is the price we pay for love." Queen Elizabeth II

It's been a week since Alex left me and I feel broken inside. I feel like I can't breath, for so long I had been holding on to him so I wouldn't feel this way.

I am in my room crying, again. My mom walks into my room and she looks at me.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" She comes and sits on my bed.

"I'm okay." I try to wipe the tears from my face but she grabs my wrist with one hand and she uses the other one to do it for me.

"I know you are not. This isn't you. You've been locked up in your room since you got home from school and it's been happening for the past week."

"He cheated on me, mom." I cry on her shoulder. "He told me that he was done with me, he found someone better." I'm sobbing.

My mom has never seen me break down, I've always been so quiet and calm, I don't cry in front of people.

"Oh Mimi, don't cry, it's his lose not yours. You are very strong girl, you are smart and pretty. Any guy would be lucky to have you." She starts petting my hair, trying to get me to calm down. "Maybe someday down the road he will realize what he lost. You know what they say 'the love was right but the time was not in their favor.' Maybe later in life you meet again and you are different people, maybe then the time will be right." She gives a kiss on the forehead and that's all I feel as I drift of to sleep.
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We are seated in our regular seat at lunch. My food is almost gone and I haven't been this proud of myself. I look to Cassia who has been staring at me eat.

"Is there a problem?" I question her.

"Have you taken the test? " she holds my hand as she speaks.

"I'm not pregnant."

"You better not be. He left you Mia."

"Don't you think I know that? I have a hole in my heart to remind me." I turn away from her only to see Alex holding hands with a pretty brunette. He looks my way and when he sees me staring, he grabs the girl by the face and kisses her in front of everyone. My stomach turns and I get up from the table as fast as I can and I make my way to the toilets. I feel Cassia behind me as I drop to the floor in front of the toilet. She takes a hold of my hair and she starts rubbing my back.

When I finish, she gives me a piece of gum and we head back to our table. She fixes my hair as we get closer and then she takes my face and wipes the tears.

"You are strong, he is no one. Smile and look pretty, pretend like you weren't effected." We make our way to our seats. When we sit and I see him, it becomes harder to breath and I keep thinking of what would happen if she finds out. I start shaking and I start getting a really bad headache.

The bell rings, meaning school is over for the week. I am walking to the gate with Cassia and Cara, when I bump into Alex. He looks at me and then he turns the other way and continues walking.

"That fucker." Cassia starts to pull on my hand and starts to walk towards Alex.

"Cassia stop. Please stop." I try to pull her the other direction.

"No. Cassia let's go give him a piece of our minds." I see Cara walk to him too. Oh God please. Make them stop. My breathing starts to become uneven and they start to notice.

"Mia are you okay?" They are both looking at me with a worried expression.

"No don't go, please don't leave me. I don't want to face him. Please he will scream at me and I can't take it. I just want to go home." I see the debate going on in their heads.

"Come over tomorrow and I'll buy some pregnancy tests." Cassia tells me before I get into the car.

"Okay. Bye, and thank you." I give her a hug and I get into the car.
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Shit! I for got my keys. I grab my phone and I dial my mom.

"Where are you?"

"I had to run an errand, be back later." She hangs up.

My head hurts I need a pain killer. Alex isn't home. Go to Vanessa's house, she has pain killers. I make my way to her house and I knock. She opens the door and I walk in, straight to the medicine cabinet.

"Do you have painkillers? My head hurts."

"Yeah. Let me get them for you. Here they are. Take two." I take the two painkillers and I serve myself some water.

"Thank you."

After half an hour later I start to feel really tired. So I lay in Vane's bed, I need a nap.
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My eyes are close but I feel someone in the room. It's probably Vanessa. I feel the bed dip, and I feel a blanket put over me.

"I'm sorry. It's all for you princess." I feel his hand on my cheek and then a kiss. I want to open my eyes but I too tired.
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I wake up and I notice that it is still dark outside, as I look to the door I see a figure staring right at me. I recognize that figure, it's Vanessa's dad. I turn to wake up Vane, but when I turn back to look he is gone. What just happened? I lay back down and I try to get more sleep.

The next morning I wake up and I see Vane in the kitchen making pancakes.

"Why am I here?" I ask Vanessa.

"You fell asleep and I tried to wake you up, but you were out of it. I called your mom and I told her. She said that is was fine as long as you were okay."

"Thanks. What time is it?" I ask.

"Um 9 am. Why?" She looks at me.

"I need to go to Cassia's house. Thanks for letting me stay. Love you." I give her a kiss on the cheek and I walk out the door.

I can't face her right now, I know it was her dad looking at me while I was sleeping.
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"Pregnant." I look at Cassia with tears in my eyes. "What am I going to do. He left me." I lean on her shoulder as I start to cry.

"I hate his guts, but you have to tell him. It's his responsibility."

"I can't."

"You will."

"Be strong, if not for yourself but for the baby."

"It's you and the baby now."