Loving You. . .

Words and Knives

"She is everything even when she is treated like nothing." R. H Sin

"How is your grandma?" I ask Vanessa as we continue to get ready. We are getting ready for her cousin's wedding.

"She is fine. She is staying at the hospital to keep her on check."

"Thanks for asking." Vanessa and I turn to look at Alex. "It took you a week to ask how our grandma was, did you forget. Or did you really not care?" He walks into the room and sits on Vanessa's bed.

"I was waiting for the right time."

"Sure you were. Are you going to the dress like that? Don't you think it's a little childish?" I look down at my dress, I am wearing a reddish-orange dress with flower design. I look fine.

"Yeah. And I find nothing wrong with it."

"Mimi can you put my necklace on me?" Vane hands me her necklace and turns around. I try to put it on but my hand is shaking because I haven't eaten all day.

"Um, I can't do it." Alex walks towards us and takes the necklace from my hand.

"Give me that, little pendejita." He pushes me out the way. I stay in shock. It hurt, every word that comes out of his mouth recently has been said to hurt me.

I walk into the bathroom to continue getting ready.
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At the church all the family members and guest are taking pictures with the bride and groom.

"Come on Mimi we are taking a picture." I hear Vane.

"Why is she taking a picture with us? She isn't our family." Alex says as he hands me the camera. "Make sure the picture comes out good."

"Hey don't be like that. Mimi give the camera to my aunt and come here." Vane makes a sign with her hand telling me to go with her.

"I'm good. I'll take the picture."

After I take the picture we walk outside the church to watch the newly weds leave.

"I don't even know why she is here. She is not even family. No one wants her here." I hear Alex's voice behind me. I turn and see him talking to his cousin. When his eyes catch mine, he gives me a dirty look. I turn my attention back to the crowd.
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"Can you get that look off your face? It's a fucking wedding at least act like you are happy to be here." Alex whispers in my ear as he walks to sit with his cousins. I turn and walk to where Vanessa is seated, I sit next to her and her younger cousin.

"Who wants a beer?" I turn to see Vanessa's older cousin Asking us.

"I'll take one." They all turn and look at me.
"You don't drink." Vanessa states, but I can hear a hint of a question.

She is right, I don't drink. I have made it clear to her and my friends that I will never drink a single drop of alcohol. But today, I need it.

They say that alcohol makes you forget the pain, in going to try it.

"Well. I want one today. I want one. Thank you." I give a smile to Vane's cousin.

He comes back with two beers, one for me and one for Vane. I take mine and I open it. I take a sip, ew it taste nasty. How can people drink this.

Right when I'm about to take another sip, the beer is ripped off my hands.

"Who the fuck gave you this?" I look up and see Alex holding the beer in his hand, looking like if he is ready to murdered someone.

"Your cousin gave it to me. Now give it back." I try to take it from his grip, but he is not having it.

"Who the fuck have you permission to give her this? Do you even know what this is to her? Didn't you see the way she was shaking? She is afraid of what this shit can do." His anger is now directed to his cousin. He sits down on the empty chair next to me.

"You were here, Vanessa, and you didn't try to stop her?" Vane shrugs her shoulder.

"I tried. But she said she wanted to."

"Why? You hate this." He hold out the almost full beer bottle. "You were shaking Mimi."

"It's none of your business. I wanted a beer and I'm getting my beer." I grab the beer from his hand and I chug it. I hate this.

"I was trying to help, I am still your friend." He takes a hold of my hand that is on my lap.

"I...I just wanted to have fun." I look down. How can I be so stupid, he was trying to help, he knows that I hate this. Why didn't I listen to him, he knows best. "I...I'm sorry."
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The bride and the groom had their first dance and now the rest of the guest are starting to grab a partner.

"Alex, dance with Mia." I turn to see Alex's aunt giving Alex a small push.

"Want to give my family to talk about." He grabs my arm and takes me to the dance floor. He puts his hands on my waist and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Don't they already talk about us." I look up at him.

"True, but right now they are probably planning the wedding." He smirks.

"If they only knew." I shake my head.

"Yeah. Like we are going to end up together. We are just really good friends." He gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah." I smile at him. Tell him. Tell him that you love him and that you wish that he could love you as much as you love him.

"Kids, we are leaving soon." How long have we been dancing?

"A few hours. Come on, before they leave us."