Not Fine at All (Luke Hemmings a.u.)

Chapter 25

LUCEY'S POV

My eyes go wide and my heart drops to my feet. I've never seen Michael look so serious, and I have a feeling I know the reason for the stern frown on his face. I sit frozen, unable to move or even think, until he finally speaks. "Lucey, can you come here for a minute? I need some help finding the Asprin."

I take a shaky breath and force myself off the couch. Luke gives my hand a squeeze, though he has no idea what I'm about to face. As I climb the stairs, I consider how my life has come to this, but I surprisingly do not feel like crying. I am an adult, and I can handle this like one. 

When I reach the top, Michael puts a rigid hand on my shoulder and steers me into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I can tell my the way that he exhales in short bursts that he is struggling to keep it together. I can safely say that I have never seen him like this before.

"What the fuck is this, Lucey?" he growls, holding up the test and waving it around. "I go to look for some dental floss and pain killers and this is what I find? Good God, how could you be so stupid?!"

"You know I peed on that, don't you?" I say meekly, trying to lighten the mood, but knowing there's no use.

"Yes, I am very aware. Sit down now," he commands, signaling toward the toilet. I swallow hard and take my place. "I'm going to ask you one more time, Lucille. How do you explain this?"

I stare at the pregnancy test now lying on the counter and I shake my head. I really don't know what to tell him, so I just put my face in my hands.

"Does Luke know?" he asks, softer this time. 

"I just found out this morning. Kelsey took me to the store and I was barely functional."

"Are you going to tell him?" He raises an eyebrow and his tone is serious again.

"Yes, of course I am. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet," I whisper as a tear slips loose.

"How did you know? I mean, what made you want to buy this?" he interrogates further, leaning against the counter and looking down at me.

"I've been getting sick for a little while. I told myself maybe it was food poisoning or something, but when Kelsey came over and saw me hanging over the toiler, I think we both knew what was up."

Michael is silent for a moment and then he sighs. "You know we'll all be there for you. I know you know that."

"Always," I breathe, and the tears come harder. "I just don't know what to do. We just got back together and there's no way we can handle something like this yet. I know he loves me, but somehow I know a baby isn't something that will really bring us together."

"Maybe you would be surprised," Michael offers, but his heart isn't in it. 

"I'm fucked, Mikey," I admit, and we both chuckle nervously. 

"Yeah, you are, but I promise to help you through it. We all will."

"Thanks, Michael." I hug him and he hugs me back before pulling away abruptly.

"Sorry! Did that hurt the baby?" Real fear is evident in his eyes.

"No, no. I'm only like a month along. I haven't even gained any weight yet, don't worry."

"Okay, good. Either way, I am sorry for this. I am sorry for scaring you like this when you must have already been terrified. Guys just don't usually react well to finding pregnancy tests in a girls bathrooms. I mean, that's practically a death sentence."

"Please stop talking. It's really alright. It just feels good to let someone know. I never even remembered to tell Kelsey."

"Maybe you can call her tomorrow. She'd probably be better at this... stuff than I am."

"Yeah, that's a good idea actually. I will see if I can get a hold of her and ask for some advice. Until then, I guess I'll just have to figure out how to keep this a secret," I say as I pick up the test. Michael kisses my forehead.

"Keep what a secret?" a voice form the hall calls, and I know I'm in real trouble.

Michael shoots me a panicked look and I try to decide what to do in this emergency situation, but I know deep down that it is already too late. This is how I die. When I look up, Luke is standing in the doorway, a confused but hurt look on his face. I move to speak, but I know there is nothing for me to say.