Not Fine at All (Luke Hemmings a.u.)

Chapter 15

LUKE'S POV

I could not believe what I was hearing. Her broken words pierced me like shards of shattered glass, but my mind refused to comprehend their meaning. As I looked down at the fragile angel in my lap, I wondered how any sane human being could abuse such a pure, innocent soul without remorse or even second thoughts. It seemed unimaginable to me, yet here she was, the damaged and hollow victim of a torture beyond compare.

How helpless she must've felt, under constant surveillance and scrutiny from her cruel captor. I swore to myself that if I ever crossed paths with that dirty son of a bitch, I'd make him suffer like no one before him. Rocking back and forth with Lucey on my lap, I did my best to absorb the shock of her convulsing sobs, attempting with all my might to take away so much as a fraction of her pain.

"I'm so sorry, baby girl," I murmured into her hair as I tightened my embrace around her protectively.

"I let him kill my baby," she cried and I felt as if my heart were being carved out of me.

"Shhhhh, it's okay. Hush," I cooed, attempting to calm her down, but also not wanting her to repeat herself.

"No, it's not okay!" she said tearfully, raising her voice in obvious frustration.

"It's not your fault, Lu. You didn't do anything to deserve what happened."

"Neither did that baby! I should've stopped him, Luke. I should've fought back, but instead I laid there and took it like I always did."

I winced at the implication. "Don't say that. There was nothing you could do about it. Fighting him would've only made it worse."

"I could have at least tried," she muttered, pulling back to wipe her eyes. She seemed to have relaxed a bit and wasn't crying so hard. I knew that she felt as though she needed to tell someone about this and vent out all of those contained emotions, but at the moment, the conversation was just seeming to make things worse.

"Let's not talk about it anymore, what do ya say?"

"That won't fix what happened," Lucey pointed out.

"I know that," I said. "But I think it's doing more harm than help right now and it would be better if we gave it a rest.

She stared off blankly and I wondered if she even heard me. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek, which seemed to attract her attention.

"Besides, you've got to be getting pretty hungry by now, and I think we might have some chocolate chip pancake mix in the cupboards somewhere."

A tiny glimmer of a smile broke out on her face and I knew I'd won. The prospect of chocolate always seemed to heal any situation, and I was glad it didn't fail me now. Her face seemed to brighten a bit as she gathered herself up hastily, given something to look forward to, and I took her hand as I stood to lead her out of the room after giving her a pair of sweats to wear. She stopped me before we reached the door, not allowing me to go any further until she had erased any trace of tears from her face.

She was so fucking strong to have endured what she had. I knew now the hell that she had been through and it had to have taken a lot for her to be brave and walk out like she had. I knew she felt weak, but to me, she was a warrior. 

I didn't mention the fact that evidence of her sadness could still be seen in the puffiness of her eyes or the splotchiness of her cheeks. She looked beautiful nonetheless, and if Calum knew what was good for him, he wouldn't say anything anyway. Reaching out in front of her, I pulled open the door and gestured for her to go first. Halfway down the hall, she had clasped my hand again, and I gave it a reassuring squeeze. We were going to get through this together.