Not Fine at All (Luke Hemmings a.u.)

Chapter 28

LUKE'S POV

I laid still for as long as possible, trying to contain myself, trying not to wake Lucey from some much-needed rest, but I was really having some trouble. As I leaned up against the headboard, fingers drumming rapidly against my thighs, I brainstormed the most creative ways to announce to the others that we were expecting. Of course, I thought that it would be years before I'd get to deliver such exciting news, but the spontaneity of it all heightened my nerves and made me feel as though I would burst at any second if I didn't tell someone that I was going to have a baby.

"God, you sound like an anxious puppy," Lucey muttered groggily, pulling the comforter up over her head.

"Oh good, you're awake. So I was thinking like at breakfast, if all the guys are still here, we could like just casually bring it up in conversation and see if they notice."

"Bring what up, Luke?" She asked as she snuggled down further into the blankets.

"Um, the baby, of course. My child that you are carrying. My infant son or daughter that is currently growing inside you."

"Luke..." she groaned, sitting up and turning to look at me. "Do we really have to deal with this this morning? It's a little soon, don't you think?"

"How is it too soon? Michael already knows, and I have no doubts that he will blurt it out at the first chance he gets and I'd really like to be the one to break it to everyone." I attempted my best puppy eyes and watched Lucey anxiously.

She sighed heavily. "I just don't know, Luke. I'm nervous about the repercussions and  really not sure that I'm ready to face all of that yet."

"What repercussions? What are you worried about?" I was struggling to understand her fear.

"What will they think? I have a history of being notoriously irresponsible and this is just another one of my infamous mistakes."

My heart skipped just as her eyes began to widen in realization.

"You think the baby is a mistake," I stated.

Her head fell into her hands and she shook it furiously. "No, that's not what I meant at all and you know it. But the baby was an accident and I just don't want it to seem like we weren't being careful. I'm tired of looking like a huge mess-up all the time."

I nodded slowly in understanding and slid my arm protectively around her shoulders. I leaned my head down so that I could whisper into her ear. "Lucey, you know that they all love you just as much as I do, and that no one is going to think less of you because of what has happened. If you're not ready to tell, I will respect that until you are, but we can only keep this a secret for so long."

"I am aware of that," and half-chuckles. "I'm already starting to put on some weight."

I rolled my eyes and tickled her side. "Oh, hush, love. You will look beautiful no matter what this little munchkin does to your body. Speaking of wish, are you starting to have cravings yet? I smell the eggs downstairs and even I feel like I can't resist."

Lucey let out a genuine laugh which put me at ease, and I rolled out of bed and ran a hand through my hair. She stood up slowly as well, and call it wishful thinking, but I swear to God that I saw a slight bump under the pale pink of her shirt. Christ, she was so perfect.

I watched as she pulled her hair up into a messy conglomeration on the top of her head and couldn't help but think of what a perfect wife and mother she would make, which made me think further about how much I'd like to see her in a wedding dress. Perhaps it was time to show her how serious I was about making things work permanently this time.