Not Fine at All (Luke Hemmings a.u.)

Chapter 7

LUCEY'S POV

It was quite an eventful evening; it always was with the boys around.

Michael and Ashton had shown up uninvited, as usual, but had brought pizza as a peace offering. I still couldn't get over Michael's green hair, probably dyed at least ten times since I left. It would be amazing if he had any left by the time he was twenty-five. Moments like these made me realize how much I had really missed these guys. We laughed and joked like old times, immune to the memory of the damage I had previously done to our friendships, and I was thankful that they were willing to forgive so easily.

I was sitting on one side of the sofa, with Calum on the other. Ashton had chosen a seat in front of me on the floor next to the coffee table, the spot closest to the pizza, and Michael was standing and hitting the tv remote against his hand, trying to figure out how to get it to work. Luke was sitting alone on the love seat next to the couch, looking deep in thought.

Luke had barely spoken since he'd left my room, and I was silently praying that he didn't say anything to the others about what he had seen. I knew they would have to find out eventually, since I couldn't continue donning my winter apparel after the incident at the beach today, but I just wasn't ready to open up to anyone about the shameful events of my not-so-distant past. My thoughts were interrupted by a voice coming from behind me.

"Lucey Poo, can you open that box of Hawaiin? Michael wants another slice," Michael said. 

Michael had eaten nearly a whole pepperoni pizza by himself, and was now starting in on a new one. Predictable, I thought as I reached for the cardboard box and handed the whole thing to Michael. It would be easier than having to pass him a new slice every twenty seconds.

"Thanks, doll," he grinned.

Ashton leaned back and laid his head on my lap, smiling up at me. "Wanna watch a movie?" He asked, batting his eyelashes.

"I'd rather play FIFA," Michael shouted from the kitchen where he had gone in search of napkins, though no one had asked him.

"I don't care. It's up to you guys," I said, seriously hoping that they chose a movie. I really didn't think I could handle one of their gaming sessions right now.

"Whaddaya say, Calzone? Movie or FIFA?" Ashton said, turning to look at Calum, who was currently gathering all of the trash.

"I could care less," he replied, sounding frustrated. "I'll be too busy cleaning up after you guys to have fun with either."

"Looks like it's up to you, Luke," Michael managed so say when he returned, despite the food in his mouth. Luke just sat there, eyes glazed over, staring at his hands.

"Luke," I said gently, and his head snapped in my direction, eyes looking wild as if he'd just seen a ghost.

"What?" He asked cluelessly, as if he hadn't even been in the room for the past hour and a half.

"FIFA or movie?" Ashton repeated, growing impatient.

"Uh, movie I guess. It really doesn't matter to me, though I'm not really in a FIFA mood. The movies are on the shelf over there. We just bought the Austin Powers set," he suggested, seeming to have snapped out of his daze.

"Psychedelic, baby!" Ashton cheered in a terrible attempt at a British accent, giggling at his own humor. 

Michael made a show of groaning and rolling his eyes and I just chuckled. Calum, who had finished clearing out all of the garbage, sat back down and propped his feet up on the table, seemingly relieved that his work was done.

"I'll make some popcorn!" I offered, glad that we had finally settled on something to do. 

I jumped up and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a couple of cereal bowls and putting the bags in the microwave. When I'd finished, I walked back into the living room and found that the scene had changed.

Calum still manned his seat on the couch, but Michael and Ashton had joined him, a blanket spread across the three of them. I smiled at the sight and distributed the popcorn before searching for a seat. Beginning to feel my lack of sleep weigh in, I was in no mood to sit on the floor and risk waking up with an aching back. The only other available seat was the one next to Luke, and I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to go to bed rather than deal with this awkwardness. I had just turned to excuse myself to my room when Ashton spoke up.

"Dontcha wanna stay with us and watch the movie?" He asked, his head cocked to the side. His big hazel eyes tugged at my heartstrings and I knew I wasn't going to bed any time soon.

"Of course, Ash," I said softly. "I was just going to go grab my blanket."

Seeming to notice the source of my hesitance, Calum scooted over as far as he could and patted the space next to him. I knew from past experience that four people could not fit comfortably on that couch, so I shook my head to tell him I'd be fine. He raised an eyebrow but didn't object. I smiled at him and then quickly rushed to my room and grabbed my blanket off my bed.

I walked back into the living room and paused slightly to second guess myself before sucking in a breath and joining Luke on the love seat. He glanced over at me and immediately tensed up, obviously still anxious about our earlier encounter. I cautiously adjusted the blanket to lie across both of our laps, and I could feel the scrutiny of his intense gaze as he watched me.

"What are you looking at?" I whispered harshly, uncomfortable under his stare.

"Nothing," he said evenly, turning his attention to the television where Ashton had started the movie. He was clearly made nervous by our proximity, judging by his set jaw and the visible tightness of his muscles.

I slowly brought my legs up to curl them underneath me, before bringing the blanket up to my shoulders and and tucking it beneath my chin. Then I scooted around in my seat, trying to find a suitable position. When I had finally settled in, I looked over at Luke, who had yet to relax. Feeling a bit daring all of the sudden, I carefully moved my hand under the blanket until it rested on Luke's thigh, where I gave a reassuring pat. His back straightened instantly and he gasped in a breath, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Relax," I mouthed, but he didn't move. I reached further across his leg until I found his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. This seemed to calm him down a bit as he let out a sigh and leaned back into the couch. I was about to draw my hand away when I felt his clasp over it, gently running his thumb across the back. Confused by his actions, I looked up to see all the answers in his eyes. He was still torn up about earlier, and this was his way of apologizing. I nodded my forgiveness and drew back my hand, satisfied enough to watch the rest of the movie in peace.

Finally assuming some level of normalcy, I was able to forget about my complicated life long enough to enjoy the show. Well, a majority of it at least. Ashton and Michael had fallen asleep on each other about a half hour in after calling each other Fat Bastard repeatedly, and were currently snoring like a couple of semi-trucks. Calum had tried to put up with the noise for ten minutes tops before he muttered an agitated goodnight and shuffled off to bed, being sure to nonchalantly slam his door behind him. That left Luke and I alone for the most part, but for once it wasn't as awkward. We both laughed and quoted the movie together, free, if only temporarily, from the memory of our former confrontation.

And it felt good.

For the first time since my arrival back at the house, I felt as if things were going to turn out right after all. It had been rough at first, but I had worked out my differences with the boys and had even seemed to overcome the tension with Luke. We both fell peacefully asleep soon after without attempting to turn off the television or make it to bed, content that everything was going to be okay, at least for the night.

And for the first time in a long time, it was.