Frankie and I became the heads of each of the two teams. She stayed with the younger ones while I took our scavengers into the streets of New York to find food. We managed to scrape together a few days' worth of food the first night, but on the second trip, hardly any sustenance was left. We had to ration our meal portions and no one was very happy about that. Before long, rumor had spread and someone in the leader group had leaked the news, causing panic and chaos to spread throughout the hotel. I had hopped up on a box and calmed everyone down, telling them that we would make Susan proud by coming together and protecting what she started. It was a pretty good speech and Frankie was quite impressed by it. I would have been pleased if I had not been so stressed. I felt the weight of responsibility and the pain of grief, while being haunted by the possibility of failure. It was too much for me.
Alone in our room, I let tears fall as I pushed a pair of 30lb weights into the air again and again, pressing all of my anger, frustration, and pain into the handles. Switching positions, I reached my burning arms behind me again and again. I grunted from exhaustion and dropped the dumbbells on the floor. Falling on my bed, I stared up at the ceiling and cried. I don't remember my mother, or if I had one. If Susan was anything to me, she was a mother... or a teacher. I hadn't had time to cry about it yet, but now I let the tears fall freely. Frankie came in and sat beside me. Holding each other, we cried.
