[RECONSTRUCTING] whalien 52 »˚tk

0505 | 05

Alphabet Boy,

I badly wanted to get out of this place, and thank God, I was finally allowed to stay in my cousin's house. I don't want to go home ever again. Because when I look around my room, all I see is different versions of you. You on my bed, eating chips while cheese powder covering your fingers. You on the floor, sprawled out while doing your assignment.

You in front of my desk, checking your laptop. You, beside me, smiling. This wasn't good.Maybe I have gone paranoid. Maybe it's also because I always sleep late nowadays, maybe it's the sleep deprivation to be at fault.

But no, I told Fairylight-hyung about you, and he understood. I told him how I kept my feelings from you because I knew exactly what I'll be sporting afterwards, rejection and a broken heart. He told me that he used to have a crush on someone ever since they were in kindergarten, and he thought the feelings would go away when he was older.

But the feelings on got bigger and bigger until he couldn't handle it so he told his crush about it, who just rejected him. You'll probably do that to me and tell me I'm disgusting, right?

When you found out that Shinee-hyung was bisexual, you were very disgusted with him and didn't talk to him for days. I didn't know what'd got to you that day, seeing that you just crushed Shinee-hyung's heart more than it was already been, but you weren't happy. Disappointed? Weirded out? Perhaps, shocked? I don't know. You were always displeased with a lot of issues.

If I told you I like you, you would've probably do that to me too. Why does it feel like you know all about it already since you've been ignoring me? It's been three months already, and only weeks till we meet again. What will you do? Will you still ignore me? Will you ask me to officially stay away from you?

I told Shinee-hyung some things about you.

He cared and listened to me.

Finally, someone who can also feel the same way that I feel for you.

With hope at last,

Whalien.