Missing

Chapter Twenty Three

Tobias POV.

Two weeks later...

Tris has been looking weaker and paler every passing day since our wedding, and I'm already starting to grieve. I woke up this morning to her coughing up the same foam she did in our Erudite cell, and now she lays in her hospital bed, waiting for death to take over. Everyone has come and visited at least once, and I sit beside her bed, holding her thin hand, looking into her dull sunken face. She's asleep right now so I decide to let all my feelings out, as waves of sobs rack my body over, and over, and over again. I feel her squeeze my hand and her eyes flutter open, "Baby... I'm so sorry.." she says as I cry. I lay my head on her lap and just cry, I cry for a while too. I thought our wedding would make this easier knowing she'll always be in my heart and I'll always be married to her, but of anything... everything just got ten times more difficult. She caresses my head when I lean up and wrap my arms around her thin frame and sob against her ribs. She rubs my back for a while and then says, "Look at me." I do. She presses her lips into a line then sighs. "No matter what happens, I will love you forever, and I will wait for you in heaven and when you get there, I will love you still and I'll give you a big welcome kiss. As if saying 'welcome back to me, into my arms.' I will wait for you there, And I hope I'm waiting a long time. She smiles and I kiss her without saying a word. After a while she pulls away and says, "Tobias... remember the night of that party Zeke once had? The one after Marcus took me?" I nod. "And do you remember what we did after that party?" I nod again cautiously. "Well, I would've told you earlier but I was afraid it would make you too sad, but I'm pregnant."

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I just stare her dead in the eye, "You're.... pregn-" I am too astonished to talk. She nods tears spilling down her eyes and I sob again. "Tris..... thank you." She nods again and I kiss her so hard. I then pull away and place my hands on her now that I've noticed, slightly larger belly, "Do the doctors know?" I ask concerned. She nods for a third time "They said that they will do a sea section after.. after I.. pass away." Tears spill down my hand and I bend down and kiss the blanket covering her stomach, then I take her hand and kiss that as well. "I will do my best."                                                                                                  "I know you will, you'll be a great father. It's a girl by the way, it's our girl we once lost, she's reappeared," she says rubbing her hands around her round belly. "I will be honest I thought you were gaining weight, but I still loved you no more less." she breathily laughs and I kiss her again, I eventually fall asleep in my chair, holding her hand.

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I wake to an empty hospital bed, and jump out of my chair. I walk so fast into the hallway and find a nurse taking care of Tris, "Where is she?" I plead. "No I didn't get to say goodbye!" I yell. "Mr. Eaton relax she's fine," the nurse says "There was foam of the mouth again so they took her to get checked up. Did a blood test, cleaned her up, she'll be back in her room before you know it." I nod and head back to the room.

After a while sitting the chair alone, I see Tris walking down the hallways with her Chemo alone. I rush out and grab her waist lightly and help her into bed. "Thanks," she says. "No problem love," I reply. It's two in the morning and she reaches for my hand, "I'm really sick.." she says. "I know Tris, but know I love you. I love you, God I love you." I say she sniffles and I feel hot tears behind my eyes waiting to pour down my cheeks. "W..r...e.." I hear Tris mumble something. "Pardon love?" I ask. She looks to me with tear stained cheeks and says, "We're okay, you and me. I know nothing else is but we are." She's repeating my words from back in Amity. I sob when I hear the words and tugs at my shirt, and pulls me into an embrace. She holds me until I stop crying and then I kiss her. "Sleep," she says. "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you." I smile at my own words coming from her voice and I reply,"With what?" She smiles and says, "My bare hands, obviously." I kiss her head and lay back in the chair.

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I dream about our wedding that night. The way her lips felt against mine. It's all calm and then I hear loud beeps. I sit up fast and see Tris laying down asleep, but her heart monitor races with a beep ever half second. Just then Tris' eyes shoot open and she grabs my hand afraid of what's going on. I then scream for help and doctors rush in doing whatever they can. Tris' hand is squeezing mine for dear life and then I feel it losen, and go cold. And just like that, the beeps join together to create one continuous beep. Telling me, her heart has stopped. I hear nothing anymore except for the muffled voices of doctors outside my ears. I let go of Tris' hand, and it falls. I run out to the corridor and just keep running, and run until my legs give out and I drop. I end up in a dim hallway, then my mind flashes. First jumper. Nicked ear. First in class. Lover. Sacrifice. Mother. Survivor. Fiance. Wife. Tris' life. 

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The next day I go home, and lock the door behind me. I walk to the kitchen and pour a glass of vodka and sit at the table. I see a book, with pressed flowers in it, with Tris' writing underneath of a memory of us the flowers reminded her of. I flip through some pages and then a paper falls out. It thuds against the table loudly and when I pick it up it has two rings on it. Her engagement and wedding ones. Underneath the rings it says, "Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up."

EPILOGUE

I look into the mirror and see how tired I am. I got no sleep last night. I eventually make my way to the dining room and make some toast and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I sit at the table and a six year old toddles over to me laughing. "Goodmorning dad!" She says smiling. I laugh and say, "Good morning Beatrice." I push the plate over and she eats her breakfast. After she finishes eating, I'm still drinking my coffee. She then pipes up and says, "Daddy?" With a questioned look. I look at her and say "Yeah?" "Did you ever love someone?" I nod looking at my left hand. "Yeah.. I still do." She looks confused and asks "Who?" I respond with "She's the girl you are named after, your mommy. She's not here anymore but we can see her again sometime soon. I will never stop loving her." Beatrice giggles, her skin around her pale grey eyes crinkling. She gets up off her chair and goes to her room and plays. I look up at the ceiling and say, "I will always love you, okay?"

The End.