Divergent: If War Hadn't Happened: BOOK ONE

-13-

I leave Christina after awhile. She continued to tell me to go see Four and tell him what had happened, but that's the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't really want to go see Four because, I was scared what he was going to say. Would he get upset? We've had arguments for the past couple days, what will he say now? But, I listened to Christina just because who knows what's going to happen next. I wouldn't want regrets, I already have too many. Too many things to feel bad about, or feel as if it was my fault.

I travel up to Tobias's room and knock on his door. I stand at the door and turn away from the door. What will he think that I came up here? I hear the door click open and I turn around.

"Hey." he says.

"Hey." I breathe out.

"You could've just opened the door."

"Yeah." I look down to the floor, then back up to his face. I still don't understand why he had chose me, out of everyone. How am I even that special? How have I lived up to his expectations? All I've done is cause him trouble, make him hurt. I don't deserve him. He deserves someone better than me. But, I love him too much to let him go. After all the damage I've caused him, he still wants me. Me. "Yeah, sorry. I just, didn't know." I shake my head and he opens the door.

I walk into his room and just stand in the middle, feeling out-of-place. I don't know why though. Was it for the nervousness?

"You seem tense. What's wrong?" he faces me.

"I have to tell you something and before you say anything yes-- I should have told you earlier." I sigh. He just waits there for me to tell him what had happened. So, I went into a short description of what had happened by the time I walked into the door to see Jeanine there, and to the time she left.

When I finish, his face was blank.

"So, she wants you to go to Erudite. She's trying to make you go Tris, that's why she's been trying to do all of this. You can't be going anywhere, we will get extra camera's and everything alright?" He then adds quickly, " And, you better not be thinking of leaving either, just like the last time I caught you."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not going anywhere don't worry. I'm just scared for everyone else. I mean all that has happened, who knows what's going to happen? I don't want you to get hurt."

"We addressed this before. I'm not going to get hurt. You just can't be going anywhere or else it'll be you getting hurt. That's the last thing I'd want to see or hear about."

Tobias, had been fearful of my death. He had been trying to protect me but, I didn't accept his invitation. I've been trying to run from everything, my problems but, all they have done is come back. Nothings going to change. But, I'm tired of being hesitant of everything. All I want to do is sit back. All I've done this whole time is run for my life, and deliver problems. Hurting Tobias is one of them.

I go towards him and wrap my arms around him. "I'm scared." I say.

"I know."

"When's everything going to be okay?" I ask

"Nothing will ever be okay. We just have to learn how to live with it, there's always going to be problems."

Tears fill my eyes when he says that. I've been arguing with him and I'd hate for him to get hurt but, he could get hurt, no matter what he says. He wants to protect me but, he could get hurt trying to protect me.

"I'm sorry. I've been causing you trouble. It's my fault."

"Don't be sorry." he pulls back. "There's nothing to be sorry for." he wipes the tear away.