Divergent: If War Hadn't Happened: BOOK ONE

-18-

go read this book; http://www.wattpad.com/story/7677753-first-day-of-forever

first day of forever by mrs_niallhoranswife

if you like One Direction you will like this story! it's my friends story!

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 When I woke up it was the middle of the night. I turned over on my side so I could glance for the time on my alarm clock. As the fuzzyness faded from my eyes, it read, '2:32 AM." I hit my head back to the pillow, I don't want to get up but, I feel a force of energy run through me.

I've felt overwhelmed with so many emotions over the pass couple days with finding about my mother and father dying, my mother in my dreams, meeting my brother again.. But, I don't feel like being sad anymore, I want to live, I want to be happy. I just don't understand why it seems so diffucult, like it's a challenge to be happy. I just wish for one more time. Except, that last chance has slipped through my hands, there's no one more time anymore.

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When I finally force myself out of my bed, I go to where we first did our training. I see the punching bags and the ring for our matches. I remember how Peter had fully knocked me out. I remember when my friends were there. Christina, Will.

"Will," I repeat under my breath. I turn the other way. I don't want to look at the ring. It reminded me of the horrible things that has happened here in Dauntless. I slowly walk away. Then I see a chair. I put my hands on the back of it. My fingers tighten, the skin becoming white. My eyes fill with tears but none fall, "I'm sorry Will." I say quietly, "It's my fault. Everything."

I see a tear fall to the chair but, I dont feel it. I don't know why though. I lift the chair up, pulling it to my side and throw it slamming it down onto the ground. The wooden chair's leg broke off, and was now across the other side of the room. I slide to the ground and put my hands to my face. 

"Don't cry. Don't cry. You're stronger than this," I say to myself. I shake my head, "I'm brave." I mumble under my breath.

I hear footsteps becoming closer to the room. I quickly wipe the tears away, although I don't know if it looks like I've been crying.

"Tris?" A familar voice echos through the room. I see someone walk in, Tobias. 

"Yeah?" I say quietly.

He looks to the broken chair, and back at me, "What happened in here?" he asks.

"The chair broke." I say.

"How?" 

I sigh, "I broke it."

"Why?" he gives me a confused look. 

I tried to run a few excuses through my head but, he wouldn't believe them anyways if I just told them to him right now. He would know whether I was lying or not and I prefer not to lie at him at this moment, although I do at the same time. I wanted somethings to keep to myself, and I know he cares but, there's just times where I wanted to be left alone. He probably doesn't tell me everything either. 

"Reasons." I say, refusing to look up at him. I don't want to see his expression on his face because, I know he's curious, I know he's going to ask me why, I just don't want to tell him.

"Is there something I should know?" he asks.

"There's nothing. I'm fine, okay?" I slide up from where I was sitting and I walk to the door. He pulls my wrist, and I jerk forward trying to loosen the grip and leave. 

"I know you're not okay. What's wrong?" he says turning my shoulder for me to face him.

"I just want to be left alone."

"Tris, you can tell me anything." he says.

I breathe out, "Have you ever just though that I don't want to tell you? With you holding me back and contiously asking me why isn't going to make me want to tell you either, so you can just drop it."

"Because I care? Have you ever thought of that Tris? You've been so closed off lately. I mean first you want to leave the city, and then your chucking a chair around? What's wrong with you?"

I push him away, "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you! I know going in the city was right, Tobias. But, I didn't do it for you. Because, I knew that you didn't want it, nobody wanted it. So I didn't go and I called off the whole thing. And, Why can't you understand that sometimes I don't want to talk to anybody, you know I like being alone sometimes!"

He speaks in a softer voice, lowering his tone from before, "We don't even talk that much anymore Tris. But, when I talk to you I care. I want to know you're okay. Your not okay like this." he shakes his head, in disaproval to my last comment.

"What am I supposed to do?" I say, choking on my words.

He stands there waiting for what I was talking about. "Do you know how many things that has happened to me Tobias? Do you even know how hurt I am? Nothings going right, everything is wrong, it's all wrong and it's-"  a tear falls but I quickly wipe it away. "I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do, what to think. I'm broken and all that's happening is bad things. Why can't it be good things, why can't I be happy? For one minute, that's all I want Tobias, is not to worry, is just not to care for, one minute. To just know that I'm okay and I'm safe. But, I'm not, I'm trapped." I gasp for air and he pulls me into an embrace.

"I care." he whispers.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here. I don't exactly know how it's to fully lose your parents but, I do understand how you feel alone. But, you're not. There are still people who care for you. I care. Know that, please."

His lips lock with mine, and I know in that moment everything felt right. Maybe, there's always going to be a part of me that's going to be sad because of my parents. Because, of my friends. But, what I have to realise is that people care for me. That this life is worth living for.

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OKAAAAAAY

ANOTHER ONE!

I just wanted to say I know the last few chapters have been sort of 'depressing,' but I hope you all realise that Tris has lost so many people and thats why she's sad. Things will start to get less depressing in the next couple chapters, and i'll get it onto a happy mood. Please bare with meeee.

I JUST REALISED I HAD OVER 15K!!!!!!! I HAVE OVER 50 FOLLOWERS AND OVER 350 VOTES! THAT MIGHT NOT SEEMS ALOT TO YOU BUT, I WAS LIKE FREAKING OUT. THAT IS CRAZZZZY! THANK YOU SO MUCH IF YOU COMMENTED, VOTED, FOLLOWED, OR EVEN JUST READ MY BOOKS. IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

ignore the spelling mistakes, i didnt use spellcheck LOL

well off again I go, love youuuuuu

byeeeee XD

hannahsky x