Divergent: If War Hadn't Happened: BOOK ONE

-17-

chapter 17...

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I think about my brother, Caleb. I don't know if leaving him behind is the best option. He's helped me through hard times. I couldn't betray him like that, as he wouldn't do that to me. Maybe, I should take him with us. Wouldn't that be the best option anyway? I wish I knew. Tobias had already left to gather some people but, I think bringing Caleb is going to benefit me. He's my brother and I couldn't stand to think that this place is going to become wrecked and he'll be here alone. I wonder if he knows about mom and dad. 

The thought makes me sad. I don't want to think about it.

Without Tobias knowing, I go to the traintracks and wait for the next train. I know this is right, there's this feeling in my gut, I have to go. I know this isn't fair for him, I know I should of told him but, it's too late now.

I hear the train rolling up on the train tracks, and I get ready to run. Then I sprint, and when the train comes close enough to me I quickly grab onto the handle. I grip it as hard as I can to secure myself and to get in.

When I get in I see a familiar face. 

Caleb.

"Caleb? What are you doing here? I mean- I was just coming to see you."

"I was coming to see you." he says.

He stares at me. It feels like forever. It feels like I haven't seen him in a long time. I miss him. I slide down beside him and he takes my hand. 

I shake my head. "What are you doing here?" I ask. 

"I need to tell you something." he says, looking me in the eyes. It seems familiar. "You can't leave."

"Wait- how did you know I-" he cuts me off.

"I've been having these weird dreams. About mom. She kept telling me and you to leave. I just assumed you would've went anyways, the kind of person you are."

I take a deep breath, looking for an answer. "It's important." I say quietly.

"You can't leave, Beatrice. It's not the right time. Do you know how many guards are out there, and you think you can just escape all of them? They will kill you. I can't let you leave. I have to watch out for you."

I never realised how much my brother had cared. He was just keeping me safe. But, I don't know if he's right. I mean if my mother came into both of our dreams, wouldn't that be telling us something? He can't just hold this back, I can't stay here. 

"I can't."  I say.

"Yes you can." To insure me he squeezes my hand. "I know you just want to leave here. I know. But, if something happens to you, what do you think that'll do to me, Beatrice? After mom and dad, I can't just see you die. You can't just die."

I put my hands to my face. He knew about mom and dad. 

"Okay." I say. 

He then puts his arms around me, holding me into an embrace. It's been a while. It feels okay now. Some type of comfort I haven't felt in a long time, takes over me. 

"Thank you." he says.

He then lets go of me. It's quiet for a few seconds but, I need to ask him. "How did you find out about mom and dad?"

"It was everywhere. Everyone was talking about it."

I form an 'o' shape with my mouth. "It's not fair."

"I know." he says.

Then we see the lights from the Erudite headquarters. I know this is goodbye, for now. I probably won't see him for a while and it hurts. I don't see my family often, I will never see my parents again. I don't know when I'll see my brother again. But, I miss him. I miss our Abnegation home. I miss us being close, telling eachother everything. I miss us being brother and sister. Not that we aren't, it just feels distant lately. But, I have to move on. I have to go on with life even though I'm not ready.

"Okay." he says. 

"I don't want you to leave." I say, my words desperate.

"We'll see eachother soon, don't worry." he stands up from where he was sitting. "I love you, Beatrice."

My throat goes dry but, I don't want to cry. I've cried too much. "I love you, Caleb."

Then I see him jump off, and the train speeds off where his figure becomes smaller, and darker where I cannot see him anymore.

"Bye." I whisper.

_____

When the train comes back to Dauntless, I jump off. I walk to the chasm and notice i've been gone for over forty five minutes. Though it felt barely like minutes.

I notice Tobias, and he comes to me.

"Tris." I turn around. "Where were you?"

I decide not to tell him about Caleb. I don't want him to know anyways. 

"The plans off." I say firmly.

He shakes his head, "What do you mean? You wanted to leave didn't you?"

"Not anymore." I say.

I turn and walk away from the chasm, walking to the apartment. Tobias catches up beside me. "Why not?"

I stop in the middle from where I was walking. "I've realised that everything I want is right here. Going out there could risk everything. I don't want to do that."

"Alright." he says.

"I'm going to go, i'll see you later." I walk before he could say anything else. I walk to my apartment and go into my room. I slam the door behind me and go to my bed. I let my head drop to my pillow, and then the door knocks. 

"Go away." I scream out.

"It's just me." Christina says. Her footsteps follow her, to my room. "You okay? I thought we were leaving soon?" 

"The plans off, okay? Tell everyone that."

She gives me an unsure face, and then just walks out. 

Once, the door closes from the apartment, I close my eyes. I don't want to be awake.

_

"Mom, I'm sorry I can't."

I don't hear anything  but I feel a hand on mine. I look up to my mothers face. "It's okay," she says. "Please be safe."

"Huh?" I ask.

"We'll see eachother soon. Your father and I love you very much. I love you."

"No. No. Mom. Don't do this."

But, then there's nothing, the darkness surrounds me and she's gone. She's gone.

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AUTHORS NOTE:

I know it's been a while. I'll be uploading a chapter for, "Allegiant, the alternate ending." soon. When I get time.

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hannahskyx