The Nerd

Im. Fine.

When your a kid your born into this world not knowing all the horrible things it could bring. All you ever know is gumdrops and lollipops. We're so quick to grow up, be more than our age. But, in reality, life's a horrible place. As you get older you notice this, that it's not all fun and games as it may seem. Then it's like you wish your worry free childhood years wouldn't of gone by so fast. You feel the pain the world can bring, people can bring. The depression, the anxiety, everything that you didn't know existed in your younger years. You where also born into this world not knowing that the ones you love could hurt you the most.

I groan as I turn over in my bed and my hair sticks to the drool on the side of my cheek. I let my eyes flicker open as the overcasted sun rays beem through my window.

I look around and slowly push myself up on my hands.

My head immediately feels like it's detached from my skull and is bouncing around like a basketball as it jumps off the sides of my head.

I wince in pain, bringing my hand up to cup my head. Everything from last night hits me like a wave and I instantly look at my night stand at the half empty vodka bottle.

I sigh getting up and starring at my pale, bare legs as I walk to the bathroom. I throw off my glasses and clothes and hop into a warm shower. Scrubbing my body with my coconut body scrub and washing my hair.

I get out, twisting my hair in a towel and walking into my room. I throw on some black undergarments and black to sizes to big sweats, and a big Panic At The Disco shirt.

I brush my teeth of the liquor and put my glasses back on, walking down stairs.

I take in my surroundings as I walk down the stairs. The atmosphere is different. It's quite and empty. But, I feel nothing, no pain, I'm numb, it's all gone and I've decided I'm going to keep it that way.

I reach the landing as my feet hit the cold wooded floors. I bend down picking up my keys and my backpack, hanging them on the hook rack by the door as the doorbells rings.

I stand up straight, unlocking the door and opening it, revealing a Clayton standing on my porch.

I stare at him for a few seconds,

"Practice?" He says, in a questionable tone.

I open the door wider, allowing him to come in.

"What time is it?" I ask, as I walk to the kitchen and he shuts the door following behind me.

"1:30." He says.

I hum in response and make my way to the medicine cabinet.

Clayton looks around, "Sam are you ok?"

I grab the aspirin bottle and turn around, Clayton looks up from the shattered glass bottle and up at me. I stare at him blankly and nod.

"Yea, I'm fine." I say, shrugging my shoulders as I open the aspirin bottle and shut the cabinet door.

"Are you sure?" He ask, taking a seat on the island bar stool.

I open the fridge door, stopping to turn and look at him, "Clayton I'm fine." I say, in aggravation.

He looks at the open liquor cabinet and back at the crushed bottle, "But, you don't drink, is this about your grandma?"

My hold on the fridge door tightens and I swallow the anger that's rising in my throat at the mention of my grandma. I turn grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge, letting it slam shut.

"Yeah. So." I say, opening the bottle.

"Samantha are you okay? I'm sorry."

I place the pills on my tongue and pour some water in my mouth and swallow them, "Didn't I just tell you I was fine two seconds ago? Yea, well it still hasn't changed. I'm fine." I say, harshly.