The Nerd

Loose Cracks

I put my car in park, grabbing my side bag and yanking my keys out of the ignition, pushing open my door, stepping out and slamming it shut.

I spent my whole drive home contemplating my life and the decisions I've made or am making. Where did I go wrong? Where did I go so wrong that all this keeps happening it feels like history repeating itself, its constantly one thing after another.

I try so hard to not let myself get attached, to not make the wrong step. I tell myself over and over do it right don't mess up this time, don't let this go to crap like everything else in your life. I try to build my walls so high and thick that no one can break them down, that no one can get close so, I don't get hurt but, their always seems to be that one that squeezes through a crack I forgot to fill, if I just side step one little thing all my effort comes tumbling down.

Cash seemed to be that one, that one that squeezed through a crack. I tried not to let him in but, its like I did no effort, that I didn't even try with him, he just had an open gate but, I guess that's what love does just lets someone in without a warning and love has caught me off guard.

I twist the doorknob of Cash's apartment and push the door open. The fresh smell of his cologne mixed with the pumpkin spice scentsy wax I put in the warmer last night engulfs my nostrils.

I set my keys on the kitchen counter and slip off my shoes.

"Cash!" I yell, as I walk down the hall to his room.

I push open the door and walk over to the bed laying my bag on it.

I turn towards the bathroom door as the shower is running. He must of just got off work.

I walk back into the kitchen grabbing the mail off the counter. After surfing through it and finding nothing interesting I set it back down.

I let out a sigh stretching my arms out and laying my palms on the counter leaning against it.

I let my head down looking at the countertop, something catches my eye and I take my hands off the counter and sit up.

By the sink a little ways from the mail stack laid a brown envelope. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and pick it up.

Theirs no writing on it just a small plain brow envelope. I look back over my shoulder making sure Cash isn't coming. I turn back looking down at the envelope in my hands. I lift my thumb going to rip the seal open when the bathroom door opens.

I suck in a breath and shove the envelope in the back of my jeans under my shirt and jacket.

"Hey babe."

I quickly turn around and see Cash standing at the end of the hallway with a towel hanging loosely on his hips and his bare chest exposed.

I lean my back up against the counter, "Hey." I say, with a sly smile.

He smiles back, walking up to me and resting his hands on my hips.

I rest my hands on his biceps as he leans in and pecks my lips.

He pulls back, furrowing his brows at me, "Whats wrong?" He ask.

I shift under his touch and furrow my brows back at him, "What do you mean?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "You seem flustered or confused."

I shake my head and shrug, "Nope. I'm fine." I smile up at him.

He pushes a piece of hair behind my ear and smiles back, "Okay. Whatever you say."

I take my hands off his biceps and walk out of his touch and towards the living room.