The Nerd

Hallucinating Lettuce

I pull my headphones out of my bag and plug them into my phone as we drive in silence through the city.

"Samantha, about yesterday," Clayton starts but, I cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about it,"

"But," he starts.

"No. Your where honest you stated your opinion, I got it. You where rude, it's clear you don't like me, it's written in stone but, don't go and try to apologize when we all know it's how you really feel towards me you don't like me. So, don't you dare put on a fake act and hide it to spare my feelings. Because I'm a big girl and I can handle a jackass your not the first one I've encountered on this earth." I say, bluntly.

He glares at me and continues starring out the window shield as he drives, "Don't act like you didn't have any part in this. You also said some hurtful things-"

"That we all know didn't faze you Clayton,"

"Besides the point Samantha, don't try and turn the situation on me. You did just as bad, you where a bitch and it's true and you know that so, don't go their with me. I'm just trying to keep the beef between us at a minimum for the sake of the gang not for your sympathy. We all know your not to fond of me either so, don't put me out to be the bad guy." He says, turning onto my street.

I grind my teeth together as the anger boils inside of me, "I'll stay out of your way, I'll act as if you don't exist. I don't need to keep my beef at minimum with you, I'm mature enough to put it aside when it comes to the gang. Incase you forgot I'm their for my mother not you." I state as we pull up to my house. "Are we clear?" I ask.

"Crystal." He says, sarcastically, turning off the car.

"Good. Now let's just get this damn move out of the way," I say, opening the door and stepping out, slamming it shut.

I walk up to the porch, meeting the movers. They where 4 guys in khakis and blue collared shirts. I unlock the door and open it, "Just shove stuff in boxes," I say, they nod walking in.

I sigh, walking in as well and straight up to my room. I shut the bedroom door behind me quietly as I take in the site of my room around me. I walk over to my desk, picking up the picture frame that held a picture of me and my family.

I was about four in the picture, my mom was standing beside me with my grandma on my other side and my grandpa behind me, a hand on either shoulder of my grandma and mom, they all wore bright smiles. As for me I was standing in the middle of my precious family, I was wearing a red sun dress, red flats and my hair was in two curly pigtails on either side of my head with red bows pinned into them. And I smiled brightly as my dimples showed and I held a sweet little puppy in my arms. Now looking at the puppy it looked scared out of its mind, probably wishing someone would take him from the crazy child that was me.

I chuckle, and my smile slowly fades from my face. That's how life use to be but, now I'm left on my own to go live with the douchebag of a boy, Clayton. I know he tried to apologize but, I won't accept it. I don't need anyone's sympathy, I don't want it. I'm a big girl and everyone needs to understand that. I won't be the little Samantha that backs down and curls in a ball at the slightest tinge of pain, that's the old me, I'm different now.

My hearts been broken in half, shattered into pieces, shredded and burned, and it can never be pieced back together, it's not physically possible. I'm broken inside and nothing can fix me, I won't let it happen. I need to drown in my sorrow, I deserve to. I blocked it out I've blocked everyone out. Every little ounce of pain and I'll be damned if I let a foolish boy come in and rip that out from under me.