When you were mine

Chapter 18

Losing someone can sting like a bitch. Letting someone into your life and then trusting them can take months. But it only takes a couple seconds to lose them and that might be the harshest of all truths right there.
Damon's POV
I tied my tie and took deep and calming breaths. I could do this, it's okay. But my hands were shaking and I felt sick. After a week the hospital let me go. Not that it mattered, I practically lived there now that Paisley and Nora were there. There was a knock on my bedroom door. When I opened it Aiden was there, suited up and looking like he was gonna be sick too.
"Ready?" Aiden asked.
"No. Jake was our best friend and now we're going to his funeral. Who would ever be ready for that?" I whispered. Aiden nodded his head and my hands began to shake again. I was supposed to go to therapy after today, see why I screamed when I was asleep and why I couldn't stop shaking. I think it's PTSD, after all I've been through it's normal right? It would be weird if I didn't freak out by this point.

"Have you prepared a speech?" Aiden asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah, Have you prepared yours?" My best friend. I had lost my best friend.

"Yeah, Sam's already at the church. We should get going." I nodded my head and followed Aiden out of my house. I felt sick and I didn't want to go. each step that took me closer to the car that would take me to the church made me feel worse. Alex hadn't shown emotion for the first three days, she even went back to school. But then her chemistry teacher was talking about something and she just lost it. that's when the grief hit her and she realised that she would never see Jake again. Not once, and that future they had planned on building together had shattered. my hand slipped into my pocket, the velvet box that lay there. I had gone to Jake's house to pick it up yesterday, it belonged to Alex.

Arriving at the church, everyone gave me the pitying stare. the look of apolgy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through. I tried not to cringe away from it as I walked inside. but there were more people in there then there were outside. I forced my feet to take me further, to keep moving. Then I sat down next to Sam and Aiden sat down next to me. we were in the front row.

"Are you guys ready for this?" Sam asked and both Aiden and I shook our heads. Slowly, painstakingly slowly- people began to sit down and stop talking. the funeral was about to begin. I zoned out for the first half of it, I couldn't bare it. Strangers talking as if they had been Jake's best friend. Like they knew him and who he was. the casket was closed, the police had said that his body was beyond salvaging. But there was a hand and that was how they determined it to be Jake. The casket would go down empty.

"In the event that Jacob Andrew Novier were to die, he requested that his best friends Damon Stone, Sam Sanderson and Aiden Smith would say a couple words. would one of you like to come up please?" We all rose at the same time, we had agreed that we would do this together. We wouldn't be able to get through it any other way. so we staggered up to the front and then I was gripping the podium so tightly that my knuckles had gone white.

"Umm, I stared at a piece of paper for three hours trying to work out what was I supposed to say. Jake was one of my best friends and now he's just..." I trailed off and took a deep breath. "What are you supposed to say when someone you love leaves you? What are you supposed to do in their absence? Do you just shrug it off because everything will be fine in the morning, or do you just go on like this is not breaking you? Jake was kind, and loyal, and honest and an amazing person. he didn't deserve to die the way he did. He deserved a long and happy life with his girlfriend. Alex." Alex flinched but smiled weakly when I looked over to her. She wasn't mad at me or Paisley, she was as mad as I was and that anger-that hatred she directed at Robert. "He planned to live a long and happy life with her. They were gonna be the high school sweethearts that stayed strong and stayed together after high school. I remember sitting with Jake one night and we were just talking and he told me that she was the one. That there was no one else for him. That he loved her so deeply that without her, he couldn't be happy. When they were apart he was like a sad and lost puppy, and like any couple they had their rough spots. But they always came out stronger in the end." I stepped down from the podium and Aiden stepped up, my hands began shaking again.

"Jake, Sam, Damon and I had a plan. We came up with the plan in middle school, when we all became best friends. So this plan was that we'd get into the high school football team, then when the college scouts camels would work in sync, we'd get into the same college and play properly. Jake was strong and brave, no matter what bump in the road we hit that threw the plan off kilter. He'd always set us back on the right track, towards the plan. And even though Jake is no longer with us, I know that he'll want the plan to go on." Aiden stepped down and Sam stepped up.
"Jake was always there for us. Not once did he jeopardise a situation to his advantage. He always did the right thing, no matter what it cost him. He was a good person and he didn't deserve to die. Certainly not the way he did, he was supposed to grow old and live a long and probably happy life. But at least he was happy, his life was too short but Jake was happy." With that Sam stepped down from the podium and people clapped. I wanted to claw their faces off. We couldn't put how we felt into words, how could you? So then we sat down and more people spoke, Alex was supposed to but she said she couldn't. She was incapable of going up there and talking about Jake without completely shattering. So instead she helped carry his casket out.

Once Jake's casket was in the ground at least three quarters of the people their left. After an hour the rest left and it was just us. Jacob "Jake" Andrew Novier. Beloved son and friend. I scoffed at the gravestone. The stupid thing was so cliche. It's not even like he was actually in there, just his fucking left hand. I slipped my own hand into my pocket and pulled out the red velvet box. Alex should have it.
"What's that?" Pip asked and then everyone turned to me. Well it was now or never.
"Al it's for you. He wanted you to have it, he was gonna give it to you on graduation night but..." I trailed off and Alex took the box. But she didn't open it, she smiled weakly at me.
"Thanks, but Jake knows I hate special jewellery." Alex shrugged and curled her fist around it.
"Open it." She thought it was a pair of earrings or a bracelet. She didn't know. That's when the realisation hit her and she began shaking.
"He didn't." She whispered and shook her head.
"It's okay, open the box." A part of me felt bad for giving this to her, but it belonged to her. Jake would want her to have it. Slowly and with shaking hands, Alex opened the box. A custom made silver ring with a single diamond shon brightly in the sunlight. A tear escaped and slipped down Alex's face.
"Even in death. I will not part from your soul." Alex read the words Jake had chosen to be engraved in the ring. That's when she broke because she knew that those words were his and not some random poet that nobody gave a shit about. She began sobbing and we could all see and feel her pain. The intense agony that had welled up inside her as she shattered into millions of pieces. No one dared to move away or any closer. We all just watched silently because no matter what we did our heads would be ripped off for it. I looked back towards his grave and an ache began in my chest. All that's left of him is a fucking hand and a gravestone. What bullshit.
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Hey guys once again I'm sorry for Jake's death. I know it sucks and it hurts my soul too, originally Jake wasn't the one who was going to die but when I wrote the scene with the original character I decided that it wasn't right. So I'm sorry if Jake was your favourite character of this story but yeah I'm sorry. Anyway I'll try and update soon and again I'm sorry.
Thanks for reading!
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