Forgive and forget l.h ≪book 2≫

Chapter 27

Violets POV

I got up the next morning, and I still found flour everywhere. It's like the herpes of cooking. You find it everywhere, and I do mean everywhere.

I heard the other boys snoring which meant I was the only one up.

I made myself a bowl of cereal, and looked on my Instagram.

I posted a pic of Luke yesterday with flour all over him. I read the comments, and people were making these names for him and shit. It was cute. It's been awhile since I was on Instagram.

After about another hour hanging around downstairs, I heard someone slowly come down the stairs.

"Morning dipshit," Ashton said, and I flipped him off.

He grabbed some breakfast, and sat beside me.

"You really need to dye your hair," He said, and I ran my hand through it.

"Yeah."

We talked to each other about what color I should do, and we got on the topic of a prank.

"Let's have some fun. Maybe give them a morning "present"?" He grinned.

"I'm in," I smiled, and we grabbed a few things.

We decided to do Michael first because after being pissed, he's gonna want to join. Then Luke because I know he's helping too. Calum will be beyond angry so we are saving him for last.

I grabbed some eggs, water, shaving cream, honey, and glitter.

I tip toed into Michaels room, and started putting shaving cream all over his pillow. He poked him, and rolled face first into it.

He jumps up from the bed with half a face of shaving cream, and yells at us.

"We have to wake up the others. You in?"

"Hell yeah I'm in," He said, and we high-fived.

We sneak into Luke's room, and squirted honey all on his face and arms. We poured glitter everywhere too, and splashed him with water.

He ran after us for a bit, cleaned up, and joined us too.

We grabbed the eggs from the carton, and started throwing the eggs at Calum. He gets up, and then that's when Luke nails him in the face.

Calum's hands turned to a fist, and jumped onto Luke.

It was funny watching Calum smear the eggs from his face to Luke's.

We went downstairs, and agreed on a relaxing day because we barely have those with this group.

We watched a movie, and as we were switching to the next, I went on Twitter.

I looked at the new tags, and there was a tag about 5sos. I checked it out, and it was a whole bunch of photos of a tour.

I haven't been on Twitter or any social media lately because of the hate I receive a day. I don't even go on google. It's like every website is going to bring me down or some shit.

But anyway, I just ignore the media period.

My eyebrows furrowed, and I saw a picture of tour dates for them. Are they actually going on another tour? And not bother to tell me either?

I looked at look, and he looked back.

"What?" He asked, and I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to feel. Upset? Angry? Pissed?

"You're going on another tour?" I asked a little heartbroken.

"What? No," He clearly lied to my face.

I shove my phone near his face, and his moth makes an 'o'.

"So you just decided to not tell me at all?" I asked.

"I was, but I didn't know how," He said, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, I know now. Thanks for telling me, asshole," I screamed, as I ran up the stairs.

I ran into Luke and I's room, and slam the door behind me. I lock it, and sat on the bed.

"God dammit," I cried into my hands. I know it's ridiculous, but I don't want to deal with the paps or fans or anything. I'm done with this shit.

I heard them knocking at the door, but ignored them. I just can't deal with hate again. I don't want to face fans who could possibly knock me out if I said I didn't want to take a picture.

I leaned against the wall, and sighed. I'm acting stupid, but was he not telling me till a week before? Or not telling me at all? Or was he going to leave me behind?

I didn't want to do it again, but my head got the better of me.

I walked into the bathroom, and locked that door too.

I did it again. The more I did it, the more I cried.

Depression is a mental disease, but to me it's a war in my head. A fight between me, and my thought. I try to stay positive, but my thoughts ruin it by saying things I never wanted to hear. Things that are true, and I can't fight back. No matter how hard I fight, they get the better of me. It's like being a young child who was told everything bad about the world. They wouldn't be able to sleep, eat, or think straight. That's me. Everything bad happens to me, and I just want it to end. I've tried, but I always end up being saved. Once saved, everything falls back on me like it was before, and it's just a cycle. I can't stop the things that fill my head. I can't stop the hate people fill my ears with. I can't stop the bad things that happen one after the other. I can't stop me from being upset all the time. I can't stop anything because I'm too weak. I can't do it. I can't.