Forgive and forget l.h ≪book 2≫

Chapter 28

Violets POV

I sat on the floor, and just cried. I know this tour was going to mean a lot to them, but I don't want to deal with the shit I did before.

I heard the guys run into the room, but stopped by the bathroom door. I look at my arms, and I felt so ashamed of myself.

I heard Luke knock on the door.

"Violet? Please, I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you didn't want to go back on tour. I knew you didn't want to deal with the criticism again, and not telling you was a dumb idea. I was going to tell you, but I was afraid of you being upset. Not telling made you lose your strength you've been building up for weeks, and I'm sorry. We'll figure out how to keep you away from our fans. Pleas, let us in. At least let me in," Luke said from the other side.

I unlock the door, and he sees me with new cuts on my arm.

"Oh my god, Violet," He says, and I hear his voice crack."I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid for not telling you."

He stands me up, and puts me in the shower. I sit in the tile, and Luke's on the other side saying things to me.

You're a fucking idiot

"I'm so sorry, Luke," I said, and told me not to apologize.

I just sit there till Luke pulls me out. I'd ru myself off, and Luke wraps bandages around my arms.

"I should've told you sooner," He said, and I just stayed silent.

"You were doing so well, and I messed it up for you. You were happy, and you were clean for weeks. I'm sorry. I can't say it enough," He continued.

I throw on one of his t shirts and pajama pants.

I walked downstairs, and the guys gave me a hug.

You screwed up

They'll probably leave you behind

Maybe Luke will find someone better than you in that tour

Anyone's better than you do it won't be so hard

I lay in Luke's lap, and my head laid against his shoulder. He held me tight, and he kept saying sorry. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. I did it. He didn't do anything.

Michael put on a movie I never heard of, and we watched it. I started falling asleep, and my eyes slowly closed.

---------------------------------------------

I woke up a few hours later, and I was covered with a blanket. I was still in the couch, and Luke sat at the end of my feet.

He looked over at me, and smiled.

"Michael went to get pizza, so he'll be back soon. The other guys went with him, so you watch the movie. I'll make some popcorn.

I nod, and turn my head back towards the tv. Back to the Future was playing, and I was so into it that I didn't what Michael come back.

I sat up when Luke handed me my pizza, but I wasn't really hungry. To make the guys happy, I took a few bites.

It as quiet as we watched the movie series, and it ended faster than I thought.

We all went I bed, but I couldn't sleep. Luke had his arms wrapped around my waist, and his face in the crook of my neck.

I stared at the wall, and I decided to write in that journal for awhile back.

I sat there for 20 minutes writing, and I started to cry. I hated this. I feel vulnerable again. Everything makes me cry again, and it's so fucking horrible.

I look at Luke, and I sigh. How is he going to deal with me like this again? It's gonna be like hell for him. I don't any to put him through that.

I laid back in the bed, and faced Luke. His hair was in his eyes, and he was drooling a little bit.

I don't know what I'd do without him. I'd probably be dead if I never sent that DM, but if I didn't, he would be care free. He would be living his dream with his best friends as happy as can be.

Like has done so much for me in the past few months I've known him. He's been the light in the darkness. Just the thought of him can make anything better. He's been there even though I didn't want him to.

I look at his shirt I'm wearing, and it's out ATL one. It was gigantic on me, but it was nice and comfy.

I looked back at Luke, and I wonder what I'd do without him.

I look at my arms, and remember what he always says to me.

"I like to call them battle scars."

Battle scars. That's what they are. They could've have been wars I could've lost, but I left these behind to prove I'm winning. When they finally stop appearing, that's the day I win everything. I win my happy life back. The old me back.

I look at him one more time before going to sleep, and I can't tell you how much I love him.

-------------------------------------------------

I JUST SAW PATD TODAY AND OML HE WAS SO GOOD HUS VOCALS ARE GOD LIKE AND HE WAS JUST FUCKING AAMUZNG LIKE IM DEAD. HE ALSO DEDICATED A SONG TO SPENCER SMITH BECAUSE HES BEEN CLEAN FROM DRUGS FOR TWO YESRS NOW AND HE ALSO DID A LITTLE SPEACH BEFORE GIRLS GIRLS BOYS AND IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME