Finding Myself

Chapter 20

The day of the big drop

Today is the day. Jo's big drop. I'm nervous. I just found out I'm pregnant, AGAIN. Ugh. It can't be. I just had twins, Jacky just had Priscilla, and now I'm pregnant again. How is my mom gonna take it, especially Jo. It's hard enough to raise the two that I have, now with another on the way. The money, oh the money. I can't get an abortion. No, never. That'll be the last thing I do. I'll just tell my mom first, again. I'll tell her when were eating breakfast.

"Morning ma." Alright tell her.
"Morning." She says. Man it's just like I was telling her when I was pregnant with the twins.
"Ma I'm pregnant again." I tell her, less scared than I was the first time I told her.
"Again. Don't you kids use protection these days." She says.
"It just happened ma. I didn't think I was gonna get pregnant again." We did it because we were arguing about the drop. How he was putting himself in danger, and the rest of us. And then one thing led to another and it just happened.
"Well what are you going to do? You know this house isn't that big?" She tells me. Man we screwed up big time.
"I still have to tell Jo." Man what will he say.
"Better tell him quick." She says. She wasn't even looking at me.
"I'll tell him today, before he goes to work." Truth is he's not going to work. He's gonna do his drop. I hope this doesn't throw him off.

Jo's POV
I get a call from Mari.
"Jo?"
"Mornin to you too"
"I have some news"
Oh no. What happened? She sounds nervous.
"What's wrong babe?"
"I'm pregnant..."
Is she serious? But we haven't...oh man, that argument we had. SHIT! We didn't use protection.
"How long?"
"About a month now"
"Ok, umm can we talk about this later?"
"Yeah, yeah sure"
Damn it. She's worried. I'm not leaving that's for sure. I'm going to be here for my kids that's for sure.
I have my drop today, actually I'm on my way to the cite right now, and I can't stop thinking about my newest child. Another one, I hope it's another set of twins. Or at least a girl. I want a another girl. Or a boy. I'll name him after Isaac. And if we have to name the girl Isaaca then so be it. Gotta admit that's pretty stupid. His middle name was Daniel, so I'd like to name her Daniell. Or maybe Isabel, its close to Isaac. He was my best friend, my brother. And he'll always be. I thought it would be when we couldn't even walk when I would I loose him. I didn't think it'll be this young. But I guess God chooses the bravest to be with him.
Before I do my drop I go visit my Ma. It's been a long while since I've seen her. Mariah would always tell me to come visit, but it's been hard. I've been trying to keep my Ma and little sister's safe. And I think what I'm doing right now is stupid for I'm going to to a drop, and my ass is over here. Screw it, it may be the last time I see them. So I knock on the door. As the door opens I see a familiar face. It's my littlest sister, she so big.
"José!!!!!!" She says as I pick her up. Man how I missed her.
"You're so big now!" I tell her.
"Look I lost a tooth!!" She so happy. I'm glad. I don't see my other sister. Till I hear.
"So now you decide to come back? After all these months? It's almost been a year since you left, and you choose to come back now?" Damn she's pissed. She's almost 12 and is already starting to have attitude. Just like our mom. And stands her ground, something she gets from me. And her anger as well.
"I'm sorry Drea. It's been tough all over." I tell her. I don't think she knows about Isaac.
"My birthday is coming José!" I'm glad Josie is still the same with me. She's about to be 7. Damn my babies are growing too fast. Then I remember, they haven't met their niece and nephew yet. "Well it's been tough raising two kids. You guys wanna meet them? I think Mariah would love for you guys to meet them." As I said that my sister's faces had confusion all over them. My didn't tell them that they have a niece and nephew? That they're auntie's? Why?
"Kids?" My sister Andrea, or Drea asked me.
"Yeah, I had 2! Ma you didn't tell them?" I asked with frustration.
"I didn't tell them because they're too young to be auntie's José! Josie is just a little girl, and Drea is almost a teenager!" She yells at me.
"But you weren't too young to fuck my father right!? And then Drea's and Josie's?! Huh?!" As I said that I felt a slap to my face. I deserved that. I just got so heated.
"Ma I'm sorry. Can you-" and then she told me "leave, go!"
"Fine! I will. I should've never came anyway." As I said that I felt regret. Josie was crying telling me not to leave, but if I stayed longer I would've taken her with me. But I left before I can see the hurt in her eyes. Drea was already arguing with my mom as I left the front door, I could hear her screaming at her. Saying "Why didn't you tell me I'm a Tia!" And then I was on the road. I don't know how fast I was going but I knew I was going to make this drop now, for I knew if I waited I wouldn't have done it.

Mariah's POV
I can't talk to Jo anymore, because as you know the drop. But we have to talk about this baby. I have to wait till he gets home, but that can be forever. As I wait for him I call Jacky to the living room.
"What's up?" She asks.
"I have to tell you something, and you can't freak out or anything, ok?" I tell her.
"Alright, spill."
"I'm pregnant....again." I tell her. I can tell she's surprised since I just popped two, not that long ago.
"Are you serious? How? When?" I can tell she has a bunch of questions and wants answers.
"1 yes I'm serious, 2 we were arguing and one thing led to another, and 3 last month so I'm about 1 month pregnant." I tell her. Man 3 people in one day.
"Well, I guess Ima be a Tia, AGAIN!" She says laughing. I'm glad she's my best friend, what would I do without her?
"Well Priscilla is a handful I tell you. And I don't even have twins and I'm exhausted." I start to laugh, because now I'm having another baby. I hope it's a girl, no a boy, I want to name him after Isaac. Or if I have a girl, I'm going to name her Isabel, it's not as close to Isaac, but it has the Isa in it. I don't know? I'm getting way in over my head. I'll just wait until Jo comes home.

Jo's POV
I'm at the cite where the drop is supposed to happen. It don't feel right, not at all. But it's too late to back out for the guy just pulled up. I act normal, just give the guy the stuff, get the money and leave. It's that simple.
"Sup. You the guy?" Strange guy asks me. No shit! That's why I'm hear ain't it?
"Yeah I'm 'the guy' you have the money?" I ask.
"Yeah, 10 G's. All right here." He pulls out the cash. It's been awhile since I've done this, haven't done it since the kids were born. So cash in my hands feels, I guess new.
"Here you go." I say as I give him the 'stuff'. "Alright" I say as I give put my hand out for him to shake.
"Alright. And how you're kids? And that smoking hot baby mama you got too? I hear she real fine." What the fuck?! How does he know Mariah and my kids?! SHIT! I'm fucked! I'm being set up! I have to leave.
"Oh that Mom of yours? Oh and your little sister's? How they doing? They both go to, JFK right?" Hell no, no. I'm being played, set up but by who.
"Who do you work for? Huh? I ain't fucking asking again, who the fuck do you work for?" I'm pissed. He just threatened my whole family.
"None of your damn business! Now you keep your mouth shut, give me the rest of the drugs you got, and you won't end up like your friend Isaac you got that?" He did it! He killed Isaac!
"I'll get it. It's in the back." I tell him.
"Hurry up." As I go and get the stuff, I think of a plan. "Are you done? Give me my shit!" Damn he's blowing out my ears.
"Hear take it!" I tell him, and before I know it he took out a gun and shot me. Everything went black.