Swimming to my heart

Chapter 25 : goodbye

ADEM's point of vue:

When i turned around i saw her in front me,My heart stopped and my eyes widened, a billion thoughts ran through my head.

a couple of people tried to  help me to get out of the car but i pointed to her, i wanted them to help her first.

In seconds they put us in the ambulance,i Got up to see her laying there,i set up next to her".

Blood was all over her body. my head was pounding and fear made my heart race even more  I held my face in my hands and closed my eyes trying to get rid of the pain,after that i started shouting to wake her up.

Suddenly her eyes opened a little bit and she wanted to say something but she couldn't.

"Please,Please say something" i yelled.

"Sir, you're bleeding" a nurse from behind kept repeating.

"I don't give a shit ok,i want her to be okay. she has to be Okay" i screamed and tried to hold the tears.

"I don't want to say goodbye" she whispered softly.

"Then don't say it,everything is going to be okay just be strong" my breath came out  fast.

"Say that you love me,I want to hear it for the last time" her voice was louder this time.

"I won't,I won't say it,You are going to be fine and you are going to hear it every day for the rest of your life".

we reached the hospital and we quickly got out,They took her fastly and didn't let me go with her.

"Sir  you have to come with us,You lost a lot a blood and we have to chuck you out".

I couldn't resist them because i was so weak and i passed away.

my eyes snapped open, i screamed out in pain.my mouth was hot and sticky and my chest was rising and falling rapidly,her face flashed through my mind and i remebered everything,I stood up in panic only to be pushed by a nurse.

"You should get a rest" she warned.

after a couple of minutes she went to check some stuff and warned me for the second time.

Forgeting what she said, I stood up rapidly and started to run everywhere, I need to find her, I have to find her or i'm going insane.

As soon as I stepped into the waisting room, I saw Sophia's father,her sister, Marry and silver there.

How the hell am i going to face them right now?I think that they would hate me as much as i hate myself right now,I feel guilty because i'm the reason that sophia is here in the first place, her father is going to kill me.

"Adem?" Her father screamed

"How is she" I questioned.

"I'm so glade you're okay" He responded.

"How is she?" my voice got a little bit louder, I didn't mean to be rude but all what matters to be right now is her,I don't care about myself.

"She is in surgery,she losts a lot of blood and they are not sure that she could make it". he said looking lost,His eyes were red from crying, " but she is going to make it,I'm sure of it" he completed.

I stood there,Not able to do or say anything,I wanted to comfort her dad and hug her little sister, I wanted to believe that everything is going to be okay and my wife is going to be fine.

Minutes turned into hours and hours of waiting and waiting,Doctors went in and out but they refused to say something.

I heard an alarm of someone's heart going crazy and then it stopped.

No.it can't her!

another doctor came out,we all walked to him at the same time and i started "How is she?".

The doctor dropped his face a little bit,Not looking into my eyes"We tried our best but there have been complications".

I walked away silencly ,but i heard it I heard him when he said that they lost her,we lost her,I LOST HER.

"No no no no, I didn't lose her, I can't lose her" Sophia's father Cried and then fell down in the ground,Her sister Took a seat and set in silence not able to process anything.

I walked into her room,I wanted to be next to her,I can't stand being so far away, she was laying there like a sweet angel.

The doctor started to yell at me but I continued to stand there,I couldn't leave her.

"Honey,Com on wake up.I'm begging you" I grabbed her warm hand,"We're going to throw our wedding party in the beach because it's your favorite place,you are going to look wonderful in your dress".I watched her with silent tears " We're going to live in our little beach house with our kids,You are going to be an amazing pilote" she didn't move or respond,she seemed really peaceful "You promised me to never say goodbye,I kept my promise of not hurting you so you should keep yours".

No i can't accept that she is gone!

this isn't happening!

it's a nightmare!

wake up!

My entire  body started to shake,I can die from the pain of my heart.I threw myself at her and screamed as loud as I can " I'M.NOT.READY.TO.LET.YOU.GO".

the doctors tried to lift me up "she's not here anymore" one of them told me.

"No no no she can't leave me alone,We were going to marry, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her".

I Kissed her forehead and walked to the hall,I couldn't stand anymore so i fell into the ground and curled myself into a ball.not aware of anything other than the pain that was in my chest, I stayed like that for a long time, a lot of people tried to talk to me but I didn't want to hear anything! i just wanted to hear her voice.

I tought that I knew what pain was but i was wrong,This was something worse.

she made my life worth living and now I don't have a reason to live,she taught me how to love and the real meaning of love,I can't handle the pain of never seeing her again,I will never be the same again,Do you know why ? because the love of my life is gone and will never come back.

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This story is dedicated to A/I

 When I started writing this story , I wanted to forget you But I loved you more with each chapter that i wrote, I got so attached to this picture of you in my head.

You are the person that i'll never forget,When my little girl asks me about my first love I'll tell her about you,you are the one who taught me the real meaning of love and made me hate it and never believe in it by breaking my heart.

My story isn't a fairy tale, I didn't have the  boy that I loved and I'll never have him.

I want to thank all of my fans so much for supproting me and being at my side,I couldn't do this without you, You were so amazing, I love you so much <3