If I Ain't Got You

•27

Today's a new day, but there is no sunshine
Nothing but clouds, and it's dark in my heart
And it feels like a cold night
Today's a new day, but where are my blue skies
Where is the love and the joy that you promised me?
Tell me it's alright
I almost gave up, but a power that I can't explain
Fell from heaven like a shower
I smile, even though I'm hurt, see I smile
I know God is working so I smile
Even though I've been here for a while
I smile
Smile
It's so hard to look up when you've been down
Sure would hate to see you give up now
You look so much better when you smile, so smile
: I Smile by Kirk Franklin

                 King P.O.V.

          "Pops. I think Kingsley and Kadyn hates us," Lil King started. Soon as I walk in the house, here he go. He's 17 about to be a father and still complaining to his daddy.

         "Why you say that?" I asked running my hand over my face.

         "They're blaming us for KJ's overdose," he said.

         "Well it is our fault, isn't it?" I asked.

          "King this is crazy. They shouldn't be mad at us," he started. "They even blamed my friends."

           "Hey daddy," Kyan came into the kitchen.

            "Afternoon princess," I replied.

           "Dad!" Kadyn bolted into the kitchen. Next Kingsley came down. He didn't say anything to me though. He just sat at the table.

            "Did I do something?" I asked him after a moment of silence.

            "When is KJ coming home?" He asked.

           "Whenever he wakes up," I replied.

             "You were mean to him," he said.

             "I know," I nodded.

             "Are you the reason KJ took all of that medicine?" He asked. I looked at Kyan who looked shocked. Then I looked at Lil King who had an I told you so look on his face. I looked back at Kadyn and Kingsley who were waiting for me to answer them.

           "Yes," I nodded. "It's not your brother's fault or his friends or your mother's or sister's fault. Its my fault."

          "So it's just your fault?" Kadyn asked.

           "It's all y'all's fault. You just wanna protect them," Kingsley muttered.

             "I plead guilty, so they're innocent."

             "Not when there's evidence incriminating them," he replied. I chuckled. My son was smart. I give him that.

             "Kingsley you can't stay mad at all of us," I started.

              "What if he dies? You guys took him from me and Kadyn. Just because y'all didn't love KJ doesn't mean somebody else didn't," he stated. I stood up and walked over to him.

            "Come on. Let's talk," I said holding my arms out to pick him up.

           "I can walk," he replied. This damn boy was stubborn. I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder. He huffed. I looked at Kadyn. He smiled reaching for me. So I carried the two upstairs to the theater.

           "I don't wanna watch a movie," Kingsley frowned.

            "We're not. I just wanna talk to you two. I know y'all are mad, well moreso you. So I want to talk to you guys," I replied.