Beauty and the Freak (girlxgirl)

Chapter Twelve

Cameron's POV:

The voices in my head wouldn't be quiet until I used again. I just wanted them to shut up. I just wanted to escape the pain, I can't handle the pain anymore. Heroin is the devil, and what the devil is saying is I'm going to help you feel better for a little while and make you forget all of your problems in exchange for a little piece of your soul. And then before you know it, your soul is gone. I sold my soul to the devil. I sold my soul to heroin. I tried to quit for Kaylee, I really did. I wanted so much to do this for her, I want to make her happy. But the voices wore me down. They won, and I gave in. I'm right back where I started, lying to everyone I love. I'm weak when it comes to this drug. To someone that's never been addicted to something so powerful like this drug, they'll never understand. They think oh Cameron, why don't you just quit? It's not that hard. Well, it's the hardest thing I've ever attempted to do. I was dying without heroin, when I stuck the needle in my vein for the first time again, I was alive once more. I was happy and I loved everything. I was at peace and the voices in my head vanished.

I'm running out of money. I had been putting aside some of the money Kaylee loaned me each time just in case a situation like this, but the funds are slowly dwindling down. I've been stealing money from grams' or asking her for money with a bullshit excuse like I need school supplies. Like I really even go to school anymore. My days are consumed with waking up dry heaving, provided I could even sleep at all. It really depends on whether or not I take a shot before bed. Once I get the first hit of the day, I'm back to lying and stealing just to make it through the day.

I stick the needle in, the drug rushes up my arm in tingles. When it hits, it's like a mini explosion of pure pleasure. I'm trying to make it last, so I look forward to these times my every waking moment. Everything is okay again, I'm okay again. I'm me once more. The voices are gone, the pain is gone, all that's left is absolute beauty. Everything is peaceful.

I walk out of the bathroom and head back to my room. I sit down on the bed, where Kaylee is laying down. She sits up and wraps her arms around me. "Everything okay baby? How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" She kisses my shoulder.

"I'm great." I smile to myself.

"Good. See I told you that you could make it through this." She runs her hand along my thigh. All my nerves are on fire and her touch feels delicious.

I push her back down on the bed and get on top of her. I press my lips to hers and kiss her deeply, sliding my tongue into her mouth. "I want you so fucking bad." I tell her, before biting her softly.

"You know how much it turns me on when you do that." She grins. "Well I'm right here, all yours." She raises her eyebrow.

Her clothes were already off from last night, so that saves me some work. A lie I came up with to hide my arm from her during times like this, is that I don't feel comfortable taking my shirt off in front of her until my arm heals. I don't know how long this lie is going to work, or what lie I'm going to come up with in the future, but that's another day's problem. Right now I have a fully naked, beautiful girl right in front of me.

"All mine forever." I kiss her neck.

She moans, causing me to want her even more. Her moan is so sexy, it drives me crazy. "That feels really nice."

I move my hands down to her boobs, still kissing her neck. "What about that?"

"Feels amazing." She bites her lip.

I move my lips to her chest, sliding my hand down, rubbing her thigh. "And that?" I mumble.

Another moan escapes her mouth. "That feels..." She pauses. "Pretty fucking great."