KLPD: How my Shitzophrenia began.

New Year New Problems

2016 has had its own ups and downs, though it has not proved to be as much happening as 2015.

Azrael went on a bachelors trip to Lahore with a few of his friends and enjoyed a lot. And no, we weren't talking.

I'd like you all to meet Amir.

Buttercup's to-be fiancé who is extremely possessive of her. Buttercup never wanted to be with Amir, she wanted to be with Lucas; someone she was in a long-distance relationship with. At the time, I supported Amir because he seemed like a better choice prudentially as he was both financially stable and culturally acceptable as per Pakistani norms whereas Lucas was an American who was neither.

However, the dilemma was that Lucas understood Buttercup in a way no one else did and loved her unconditionally and was a very hardworking man. That made choosing between Lucas and Amir very tough and the matter was put off for the time.

One more thing...

15th of January.

It was Calypso's birthday. I have been prepping up from the evening of 14th January just to wish Buttercup at 12 AM instead of Calypso. That I get to wish Calypso, such was not my fate.

Now you know how it is when you're super happy. You get jumpy. And irritating to the person who is actually sad over a reason. Buttercup was sad over the idea of engagement with Amir as she wanted to be with Lucas.

I must've ticked her off because she didn't exactly blow off at me but she said which never fails to pierce my heart even though she does it unknowingly: I don't believe in your love Azrael. How can this be? I simply don't believe.

What greater punishment is there for a liar than his truths being doubted?

Such was my case.

I didn't say anything but I cried.

Oh yes, first cry of 2016.

I didn't wish Buttercup at 12 AM, and I simply slept reassuring myself of the promise I had made to myself countless times and had broken countless times: of not mentioning Calypso again and again.

And I broke it again.

And I felt really happy in breaking promises and oaths that held me down from mentioning Calypso.

I've broken oaths made in the name of God which stated that I was to let her go.

In this very same month, Ashtar got into a college for her BSc: FORMUN CHRISTIAN COLLEGE!  She was selected on 8th January 2016. She was very happy and so was I. She would pursue biotechnology from there.

However, these spasms of happiness would always be cut short by the fact that Azrael wasn't with me to celebrate them. Though he had taken a bold step and tried to apologise to me but I at that time must have been blinded by rage.

It was Ashtar who actually got me back to him. She was the one who messaged me saying: Baat bhi nahi kar saktay ussey? (You can't even talk to him?) and at that time, I delivered a quick predictable 'NO' but this got me thinking. You must know that it's very hard for me to turn down something which Ashtar asks.

She once wanted to see my handwriting and I refused at that time and I legit think about practising my handwriting so that I can make it more eligible so that I can show it to her and not feel bad for having such a sloppy handwriting.

But this reunion of ours was set to take place on 29th January and much had happened  in Azrael's life in the meantime.

His parents were getting a divorce and he had had a MAJOR fight with his foster father (his original father being in Kuwait who divorced his mother way back.)

So there he was: an unstable family and financial crisis toppled with educational problems. Just another Tuesday for him.