How to Not be Awkward (Chanyeol)

Lesson #16 Stick to your decision (Part 1)

Exams were coming up next week and I must be the only one who entered the school in good spirits as the weekend pass by. The almost tense atmosphere around the school was too palpable to go unnoticed but I’ve never been worried about exams. A lot of things had happened to me during the past few weeks and exams were the last thing I could be worrying about. The issue with Sehun felt like ages ago and I was kinda proud with how I was taking it all in.

Looking at my classmates conversing with one another and going on their usual routine, I could almost feel the smile on my face. Everyone looks the same but the feeling’s not, well atleast, not to me. I’ve realized how closed off I am to a lot of things. It’s like back then, I don’t care about what’s going on in our school, mostly Heejun or Juli would voice it out some gossip about a person or an issue going on our school and although it interests me, it doesn’t hold me; like I’m just hearing it, not listening to it. Befriending Chanyeol opened a lot of doors for me. I suddenly became friends with people I know for their reputation and name, I came to know that there’s a life outside school, Juli and Heejun. And I also realized, there’s also more to me than I’m letting myself know. Chanyeol taught me a lot of things without him realizing it.

I’m also indeed admitting to myself that yes, I like him. I like Chanyeol.

There’s no point trying to cover it up as an affection of a friend to a friend because it’s the same feeling I get when Sehun walks by. The constricting feeling of my lungs, the unnerve feeling under his stares, but though I like him, that won’t change anything. I’m not planning to confess to him. As much as I like him, I don’t want to lose my friendship with him. A lot of people would call it cowardice and in a way, maybe yes, I’m a coward but I’d rather have my confession keep a secret than lose a friend that had been with me through my ups and downs and managed to stay with me.

I got free period till lunch. Juli and Heejun both have their History class this morning so I thread my way to the gym, and true enough, the varsities were there. I could see Yifan couching at the side. I got inside, greeting some of the cheerleaders who were nice enough to smile to me. A lot of them ignore me now, ever since the incident but some of them were the same, or they could be faking it but who cares anyway. I saw Minseok at the side watching the game going on.

“Hi” I greeted him pulling put my brightest of smiles. I put my bag beside me and sat down just as Jongdae smoothly shoot the ball on the hoop.

Minseok didn’t greet me back so I looked at him and was startled to find that he was already staring back at me.

“What?” I asked apprehensively.

He broke into a smile “You approached me” I raised my eyebrows and he coughs a laugh “and you sat beside me without anyone asking you.”

Then it dawned to me what he was implying. My mouth open and closing wordlessly. Blinking rapidly in embarrassment at his keen observations at my actions, “Is there someone seated here then?” I asked, flustered.

Then he laughed lightly, eyes amused. “There it is.” He said “There’s the Hina I know. It’s okay you can sit there, I was teasing you.”

I looked away from him, embarrassed. Sometimes I forgot Minseok could go detective Conan on me, literally.

“So what brings you here?” he started again “You’re not dating one of those idiots now are you?” he asked pointing at the basketball team on the floor, narrowing his eyes playfully at me.

I could see Chanyeol blocking Luhan and I laughed nervously.

“Eeeey,” I chastised “I just want to watch you guys play. It’s been so long since I came to talk with you.”