How to Not be Awkward (Chanyeol)

LESSON #17 And if he leans in, that means he wants to kiss you

Thursday and Friday passed like a blur. I being too busy, studying for the final exams, and me trying to dodge Chanyeol's attempts on trying to talk to me.

I had already expected something like this would happen after that night. And I'm starting to hate to get confessions out of nowhere like that. Why do they always blurt it out just out of nowhere? Don't I deserve a little heads up first? Make me ready for what was about to happen after that perhaps? It's like the world is against me or something. I know, a lot would think how lucky I could be with all the guys confessing to me like that but believe me, it isn't fun. It's uncomfortable and it's awkward. It doesn't feel good turning down other people's feeling and seeing their rejected faces just because you already had someone you liked that you don't even know if that person likes you back or not. In my case, he does but it's still not fun.

School doesn't feel so fun anymore. Everywhere I looked, I'd be reminded of Chanyeol. I avoided going to the lockers that much where I know Chnayeol would always hang out along with the others. I know, he's attempting to corner me on every chance he gets and I wasn't gonna let him do that.

The only period that Chanyeol almost got me cornered was Thursday in our Chemistry class. It was inevitable. I have to sit beside him no matter what. I sat at my sit, determined with my resolve that no, I won't even glance in Chanyeol's direction when he sit beside me later. I buried my face in my book, my face almost inches away from the book to actually be reading it. It was unnerving trying to wait for any sound beside me. I was making a mental note of the gentle ticking of my wristwatch that I was watching for ten minutes now when the sit beside me gave a loud squeak.

I freeze momentarily.

I didn't dare move. There is no way Chanyeol would be able to talk to me this way. There is no way he would. You must not look. You must-

"Hina," he whispered, raising goosebumps all over my body, "we need to talk."

It feels so much like déjà vu, like the time when he almost had me corner at the lockers area. The fear and anxiety of being cornered filled my body with adrenaline, making my senses alert. I could feel my defense mechanism kicking in again. It brought a bitter taste in my mouth as I realize what I had to do. It was déjà vu alright. When our Chemistry instructor came in, I dumped my book hastily to my bag seeing shock written all over's Chanyeol face in my peripheral vision. I moved in front and report about not feeling well.

Mr. Kwon knew me and he gave me the pass without even confirming if I was really sick. I didn't look back as I almost ran out of the classroom that day.

Saturday afternoon after my classes, Chanyeol waited for me at the gates but luckily, Yifan who I met at the canteen ahead of time had talked to me something about me having a fight with Chanyeol and I asked (okay, pleaded) to keep Chanyeol busy. He argued at first, asking why he should do that "You need to talk to him sooner" he reasoned and I told him I would, just not now and eventually he relented. So when I was about to go home, I saw Yifan dragging away the reluctant Chnayeol to the gym. I still had to fight the ironic giggle breaking out from my lips.

When I got home, I buried myself with studying. It was the only way to erase Chanyeol out of my mind. I just keeps seeing him everywhere, on my things, in my books, on my songs, he's everywhere and if I didn't get him out of my mind I'd be a victim of paranoia. I checked my wall clock now and then, waiting for the clock to strike eight o'clock where I'd know Chanyeol would be on his way home and I'd be able to wait for his car to pass by. It has been my routine since Thursday since I was so busy avoiding him and his eyes or even just his shadow, I rarely see him and the only way I could see him is by waiting for him cross our neighborhood when he comes home. That way, I'd also know he was safe.