How to Not be Awkward (Chanyeol)

LESSON #16 Stick to your decision (Part 2)

I looked at myself in the mirror for the twenty-sixth time in a matter of five minutes, catching for any glitch in my dress, or face and me in general. I should call this a record. I rarely look in the mirror and now I can't seem to stop. I was relentless.

I looked out the window again, out of habit anxiousness creeping up on me.

I patted my curled hair nervously. It's the first time I'd ever styled my hair into something different and it feels new to me. Heejun was the one who did it, along with my make-up because the ones that I bought seem too plain to be used on a semi-formal event. I paced around my room some more, calming my shot nerves from popping out. I swear I'd never get over this anxiety whenever waiting for someone or something.

I was wearing the dress Yoora chose for me. I know I look decent enough for the event. I trust Yoora. It's me I'm worried about. What if I don't fit in? What if they could tell right away that I'm not as rich as the people who were going to attend the party? What if they'd stare at me?

The list could go on and on and I would have drown myself in my over thinking if not for the soft rap on my door.

I looked up in fear that it would be Chnayeol or Yoora who would pick me up today but it was just my Grandma.

"That's a very pretty dress" She comments, sitting beside me on my bed.

I smiled sheepishly. "Thanks grandma"

She smiled at me affectionately as she began stroking my hair slowly as to not ruin the curls. We were both quiet for a moment. I let myself be comforted by my grandma's presence. Out of all the things that are happening to my life, she's the only constant and remained as my anchor to all these drama happening around me.

"Is Chanyeol picking you up?" she asked and I nodded.

My eyes flitted back to the window unconsciously, ears perking up for any possible sound from his car. Grandma followed my gaze.

"He's a good kid" grandma stated. I could feel her eyes on me and my lips curve into a smile. He really is.

I nodded still looking at the window.

"You could tell him what's bothering you dear" she said ever so softly. I would have misheard it if my room isn't so quiet.

I locked eyes with her and she had that endearing smile on her face.

"I don't know what you're going through sweetheart but if you wanted someone to talk to, someone who would understand you, you could talk to him. I know I won't be able to understand what you feel even if you tell me and I want you to know that I trust you and I trust him. He's a good person." She said while stroking my cheeks lovingly.

I could feel the bile in my throat. I don't know if it was the nerves for what was about to happen today or the stress I'd been having for days and not having someone to talk to about it but I just found myself sobbing in my grandma's arms.

"Shhh, stop crying sweetheart" My grandma cooed, calling me a lot of pet names she uses on me while I was wrapped in her warm embrace, telling me a lot of blessings that no matter what happens, she trust me and I was her blessing.

I continued sobbing. I honestly don't know what triggered my emotions but suddenly everything comes pouring out. The night that Sehun kissed me, my confession with Chanyeol, Yifan's confession to me and my undeniable likeness on Chanyeol, eating me up, consuming my entire being with guilt, shame, embarrassment and fear.

My grandma reached for my eyes and began wiping my tears away. "You'll ruin your make-up" she chastised with a comforting smile.

It dawned to me that I was in a dress, my hair is curled and I'm going to an event and here I am crying like a mad woman. God hormones.