[SDMN] Imagines

Schizophrenic Pop #7: Høpē

I'm left for dead. All alone.

I stand, lost, in the darkness. I limp. Limp. There's nothing. I see black for endless hours.

But then I see light. I run. Run. A glimmer that keeps me going.

I run to him;
Ethan.

He's the light at the end of the tunnel. A soft glow surrounds him. He's dressed in white to show a clean future.

However,

he has a black eye.

He also has dried blood, still a vibrant red, in the corner of his mouth. Band-aids freckled on his arms with one under his clean eye.

My hope is battered. He's been bullied but he's still alive.

He's still strong. He gets in a lot of fights just for me.

He too holds my hand but loosely. He slips through my fingers. I'm always loosing him.

I search for him. I always try. It keeps me busy. Leaves me alive an extra day.

Gives me a sense purpose.

He's a small voice. A powerful one at that. I hear him faintly in the distance. I struggle through the jungle of my mind, getting caught in the vines and tripping on nothing, occasionally a rock.

I will climb a fucking goddamn mountain to get to Ethan. If I have the energy. Or some strength.

Ethan is a breath of fresh air; I need.

Hope keeps me safe and sound. The feeling of his tattooed arms wrapped around me is something I will never miss. Comfort.
~
It's refreshing after constantly falling through trapdoors. Landing in a dark ocean with no air.

But he dives in after me. Guides me. It's funny because sometimes he gets lost too. 

But other times I betray him. Those times when I value the rush of blacking out and Alter Ego takes my body. Hope hides with Sanity to protect himself. I don't know what I do but all I know is I want him back when it is all over and I'm left; limp. Somehow, even after all the wrong I do, he still has hope in me.
~
"When can we leave?"

I will ask, softly. Tears streaming. Staining his shirt.

"The day no one loves you, and you are drained of happiness."

He answers.

"Now then?"

"But I love you. I make you happy."

So,
I'm still here.

Ēnd