[SDMN] Imagines

Schizophrenic Pop #5: Sãnïtÿ

He likes to hide from me.

I rarely see him.

He thinks it's a funny game.

I'm always the seeker when we play.
At least I get to hide when I play with the world.

"Where are you Sanity?"

I call him formally.

His real name is Tobi.

I'm not quite sure what he looks like since he's barely with me. I've seen him

Peek

from behind my couch or around a corner or at the bottom of my bed. From what I can tell he looks like an average guy.

He does not answer back. He never does.

I am strange. I act out.

My

reality

is

altered.

I can't tell if I'm seeing him or imagining him or confusing him with something completely different.

IcanttellwhatsrealIwearrosecolouredglassesbuttheystrobealightofeverycolorSoeverythingjustflashesanditsall irrational. crazy. nonsense.

Without him I'm disoriented. Drugs make you feel like this, but he's the drug I need to cure me from feeling like this.

He keeps me in line. Saves me from some of the others. He calms me. When he's here. Without him I panic.

The voices get louder. They're confused as well. They don't make much sense. I yell at them. I promise you I'm talking to the air. They're there! Don't you see them¿

Tobi can shush them. And remind me they're not real.

"Oh where, oh where did my sanity go?"

I laugh. But it never ends. Why is everything funny?

Even my own misery.

Does he not like me?

Does he to, enjoy my misery? Is that why hides from me?

Sanity is a cruel person. I prefer to be without him. Life is much more interesting this way.

When Tobi is with me I can see how boring everything is. I like the uncertainty of, "Is this reality?"

He's my sanity but he acts very insane so maybe that's why my insanity feels so sane because I actually am sane and he is actually my insanity and that's why I feel so insane when he's around. Or I could just be used to being insane which explains a lot. Insanity has because it might be my new sanity so maybe Tobi is with me.

Help I'm insane