Wake up

NINE

As we did more shows Queen let me promote with mr. Khaled.

Tana and I have only gotten closer and Izzy has been a champ. We finally get a break and I get to see him and everyone else.

I can't wait.

Tana and I packed our bags and left for Oakland.
Flight after flight. She held my hand the whole way through.

We finally landed and went to baggage claim. We got our bags and ran to see if he was here. We were also being followed by people with cameras.

I saw him standing with flowers and I ran to him. And out of nowhere. It sounded like balloons were popping.

Then I saw my boyfriend on the floor. Blood stained his lower lip. The camera flashes instantly stopped.

Tana and i were in tears. I leaned down and looked up in the direction of the shots.

"You. Fucking. Bitch!" I yelled at her. Tears were rolling down her face.

My chest. Shit. There's a hole in my chest.

"I'm sorry.." She said and put the gun in her mouth. Before she could pull the trigger she was tackled to the floor.

It felt like everything was in slow motion. I saw him. Lifeless.

What am I gonna do?

When I opened my eyes I was in a hospital. Tana and my parents were together.

"You're awake." My mom said and hugged me.

"He's not." I said and tears rolled down my face.

"I'm so sorry." My dad got up and hugged me too.

"Are his parents here?"
No. No they weren't.
"Of course."
I wiped my tears but they just kept falling.
"Can I be alone with Tana please?"

My parents nodded and left the room.

She stood up and walked over.

"Do you need a hug?"
I slowly nodded my head and she wrapped her arms around me.

"It's not fair."

"No. it's really not." She said and kissed my head. Just like he would.
I felt a little better.
I really think that tana is my best friend. Because. Well.
"When I saw you over there
I didn't mean to stare
But my mind was everywhere
I wanna know you
Gonna guess that you're the kind
To say what's on your mind
But you listen when I have something to show you.." She sang to me and climbed into my bed.
"There's a mark above your eye
You got it in July
Fighting for your sister's reputation
You remember people's names
And valentines are lame
So I bring you flowers just for no occasion, oh"

I started crying again and she rocked me.

"Thank you Tana."

"For what?"

"Being my friend. And. Being here for me."

"Anytime." She said to me. "I love you Sammy."

"I love you too." I said and closed my eyes. I fell asleep and he was in my dream.

It was if we had a do over. I met him at the airport and pushed him out of the way. When the bullets hit me my eyes opened and I saw him in a casket.

He was dressed up in the suit my parents got him for prom. He's gone.
My best friend. My soulmate. My everything.

He shouldn't have died. It should've been me. I'm so fucking stupid.

I heard a voice but it sounded distant.

"Sammy. Wake up!"

"What happened?"

"You kept saying like 'It should've been me' and you were getting really upset. I got worried."

That's kinda really sweet.

"I just want this all to be some fucked up nightmare. Can you wake me up from this?"

"I wish." She said and kissed my head.

"He would always do that." I said with a smile.

"Should I stop?"

"No." I said. "I like it."

"Okay."

"Tana."

"Yeah?"

"What's gonna happen when the tour is over?"

"We'll have to go home. But I don't wanna like never see you face to face again."

"I honestly think you're the only one who can help me get through this." I told her truthfully.

"Aw. Sammy." She hugged me tighter. "Well. I could always ask my sister if I can move out here. I'm homeschooled."

"Where will you stay?"

"Your house. I mean your parents said I was welcome anytime."

"Okay." I said with a nod.

"How's your chest?"

"It doesn't hurt that bad anymore." I shrugged.

"Do you think you can go back on tour?"

"Yeah. I think. Maybe."

"If you feel like you can't just tell us."
Her phone started vibrating.
"Speak of the squad."
She started reading the texts out loud.

"What did you tell them?"

"Just landed w Sammy. About to meet Izzy for the first time. Then. Guys. Sam and Izzy got shot. I don't know what to do. I'm scared."
She showed me the rest of the conversation and I sent a message.

'Squad. It's alright. Not really. But I'm alive. Izzy didnt make it. Tana and I will be coming back after break. No need to worry anymore.'

I gave her the phone back and there was a knock on my door.

"I got it." Tana said and got up. She opened the door.

"Hey champ."

"Hey mike!" I said.
He and I got pretty tight on tour. He's a bodyguard that Tana and I charmed. Haha. Haaa.

He had some chocolate and a few balloons.
I held out my arms and he walked over and hugged me.

"I'm glad you're okay and I'm sorry for your loss." He ruffled my hair.

"Maybe it'll be okay soon." I said to him.

"You are a part of our family and family sticks together. So on account of." He pulled out a card. "The squad, the staff, and the Carter family. We love you and want you to know we have your back throughout all of this."

"Thank you." I said and he handed me the chocolate, the balloons, and the card.

Mike had to leave later and Tana got back into my bed.