Wishing for the Unforeseen

Wishing for Understanding

Voices of the lost.

Voices of the forgotten.

Voices of the ones who thought that they didn't belong.

Toying with emotions creates cuts and bruises in different aspects of the very ideas that keep a single being in check. Some reflections cut into the desperate past and some cut into the wanted future. Some create pools of things that never quite sink in. While the cuts that sting make a never ending tail spin of the souls emptiness.  All of the little things, the cuts and the ignorance abiding by others emotions, never seems to leave the vulnerable wounds alone. New thoughts and ideas seep in the open crevice and make it burn. They make it feel, and spread like a wildfire. More pain. More regret. More feelings of which one feels empty and lost. And while the pain is being dished out to the others that care we stay still and let the fire consume. Rage, emptiness and all.

Like a virus, the fire spreads throughout the vessel and leaves no soul left to contend with the brokenness and devastation of the feelings left behind. Soon the cuts will turn into scars; never healing but always present as a reminder. Soon the fire will get trapped inside and then it will need slow attendance to it to burn it out. However, slow attendance requires an untainted soul; so the fire may never burn out completely.

Thoughts of melancholy.

Thoughts of the regrets and pain one has put into.

Thoughts of the shattered sanity.

The bruises. The bruises. The bruises. They are almost the scar of failed attempts of taking, or trying to take, the soul over. Danger leaps and bounds into position, ready to strike. It jumps and springs into action hitting and wounding a defenseless being of emotions. It fails to seep deeper but it succeeds in penetrating the frail state of mind. The mind, like glass, cracks slowly. The now green, purple, and brown mark imprinted on different parts of the body just leaves a reminder of rejection. It says that to get better one needs to be punished. That's why when one touches a bruise it feels sharp and jagged.

Experiencing either one tears something away from dignity, hope and self worth. They break you and make you face the idea that one may never fully repair again. The dark pit now created from the abandonment and stings encases you and makes you feel like there is no wait out.

Experiencing both means permanent damage to mind and self. Healing of any kind is slow and tedious. Unwrapping the tight bonds of the pit of darkness enwrapping ones emotions is strong and can break anything all over again with one wrong flick of the finger. One wrong move can take away all the sanity the mind has to offer.

Experiencing both feels like blindness and uncontrollable torture. One is immersed in fire with no way out to be free.

Feelings of stupidity.

Feelings of hatred toward self.

Feelings of things that never belong.

Feelings of nothing.

Feelings of self rejection.

Feelings of regret.

Feelings of apologies to our people.

Feeling of carelessness.

Feelings of depression.

Feelings of the burning passion you want to feel but just can't. Just can't. Just can't.

Feelings of a wedge that drives you away.

Feelings of shame.

In some people there is a burning desire to scream that will never come out because of the way others have made one feel. They trust the vulnerable past and present to no one. Wishing for understanding means to not inflict controllable degrading things to others. It means to no let the beaten feeling get inside and when it does let it out in any way. Understanding one anther means that we should be able to trust one another without worries of what might happen if another thing does. It just should be.