Truth and Hope or Lies and Despair

Chapter Twenty Eight "The Earl's True Feelings"

~* Ciel's POV *~

Her words replayed in my mind like a broken record.

I would rather die than live in a place without you.

She saw my contract symbol on my eye and didn't show any signs of fear. Something else was deep within those cyan colored eyes, some emotion I couldn't name. Did she love me? No, that's impossible. If she knew who I truly was, she would hate me. A demon.

But watching her run off like that, I just couldn't take it. Lizzie screaming in my ear and the slight dull pain in my heart was overwhelming. But even through that, I had only one thought in mind: I don't want her to leave me alone any longer.

Shoving Lizzie off me, I ran after her, ignoring the annoying shouts of my name from behind me. I pushed past people, ignoring some of them that tried to talk to me. They just want my money and riches, plain and simple.

Why am I chasing after her? What is it that makes me do this? This feeling, whenever I'm around her.. Is something I've never felt before. Was it admiration? No. Something deeper than that. I just couldn't name the emotion that is igniting within me when she is around.

Losing sight of her, I stopped, catching my breath. I had lost her, again. I regret not chasing her before, when Lizzie had barged into my office and had told Venus about our relationship. If only she knew, I never loved Lizzie. Not in the way she thinks. It's just an engagement that was set up, nothing more. I could break it off whenever I feel like it. I can choose anyone I want. And I want to choose Venus.

Wait.. what?

I want to choose Venus? What am I thinking? Why does she make my mind a complete mess? Ever since she arrived, nothing was the same. Everything had changed. The way I see things... the way I feel around her... my very own composure.. It has all changed. And it's because of her. And truthfully, I like it. I want these changes to keep on happening.. And to do so, I need her by my side.

Brushing my fingers through my hair in frustration, I let out a sigh. What is wrong with you, Ciel? Stop acting like a fool and catch a grip already. You've already hurt her and probably made her cry. And it pains me immensely when I see her tears falling.

Turning around to continue my search for her, I collided into someone. The person tripped and spilled wine on my clothing.

"Ah! Sorry, so sorry! Oh my goodness, I spilled it on the Earl! Forgive me!"

It was a young man. He was dressed in a simple black suit, a white mask covering the top half of his face. Cyan colored eyes stared back at me, his purple hair styled neatly back. The similarities between him and Venus were uncanny. Just who is this man?

"Here, allow me to try and fix it!" he snatched handkerchief from his breast pocket and frantically wiped the wine stain, smearing it and making it worse. Noticing this, his eyes widened and and he suddenly got on his knees and bowed.

"Forgive me! I'm clumsy and a fool. Please don't kill me!" he cried.

People started to turn their heads towards us from the commotion. I was shocked at his begging and completely forgot the resemblance between him and her. There was no way this person could be alike to her in any way besides looks. He's like her polar opposite.

"Are you mad? Why on earth would I kill you? Now stand up and stop acting like that," I ordered. He nodded and stood up, wiping his tears. I was surprised. He actually cried over something like that. It seems like I may be more mature than him.

"Thank you and sorry again," he sniffled, "It's just that I've heard rumors about you and I just assumed.. Anyway, I can see that they are fake now! Now that I look at you, you are quite cute, not scary at all."

I choked on nothing from his words. Did he call me cute? I am no such thing! I am very, ahem, manly! Yes, very manly and no way near cute. Pink covered my cheeks in embarrassment.

"And you are?" I questioned, calming myself down.

"Christopher. Pleasure to meet you, Earl," he held his hand out for me to shake. Taking it, I gave it a firm squeeze before pulling away, secretly wiping my hand on my back. Who knew what this bizarre man came in contact with?

"I've actually been meaning to speak with you. May we talk somewhere private?" he asked, a grin on his face. Suspicion settled in me, noticing the pompous look in his eyes. Something about him unsettles me.

Curious, I nodded. I leaded him to the balcony, closing the doors behind us. Sebastian is not far away so if this man tried anything, he wouldn't get away with it. He gazed at the starry night and smiled, leaning on the railing. 

"That girl you were with, who is she to you?" he suddenly questioned. 

I furrowed my brows, "Lady Elizabeth? She is my fian- ahem, my cousin."

"No, the other one," he turned around, his mask in his hand. A dark and scary aura wavered around him. His face held pure anger as he spoke, "The one you made cry."

I was surprised from his sudden change. Venus? What on earth can he want with her? A guilty dagger pierced me, knowing I had been the reason for her tears. I had no idea what to say. Who is she to me? I just stared at him, dumbfounded, a little fear laced in my eye. 

"That poor girl. She loves you yet you are engaged. But then again, it is mostly your fault she's in pain," he stated. 

He doesn't know me, why does he care? I glared at the man, "Pardon me? Just who do you think you are?"

"You don't even have the guts to admit how you feel about her. I've been watching you and I can't stand how ignorant you are! She is suffering while you are naive and just play with the heart strings of that poor fiance of yours," he sneered, taking angry steps towards me as he did, "Be a man and cut off those strings off hers."

Watching me? Just who is this man?

Though I knew that question was important, only one question came out of my lips, "And just how do I feel about her?"

"You love her!!"

I stilled for a moment. Love? I love Venus? This feeling within me, so this is the name for it? The fireworks that erupt in my once cold heart is because of the love I feel for her. This word, this feeling.. I knew it was right. I replayed his words and like a swing of momentum, I knew what I had to do. 

I have to cut off the strings, and follow the girl I held dearest in my heart. 

"Yes, I do love Venus," I murmured, tasting the words in my mouth. It felt right. It felt perfect, like something in me was mended. I love Venus. If only I could say these words aloud. 

"But, how did you-"

I stopped, cutting myself off. The strange man had disappeared. Looking around frantically, I caught sight of the open balcony door. He must have gone back inside. Frowning, I knew that I would not see him again, tonight. 

But the frown vanished, a thought crossing my mind. I must find Venus. I must tell her how I feel. I have to tell her, before it's too late. These words: I love you. I must tell her, no matter what.

I took a step towards the door but all of a sudden, a bag was placed over my head and two people grabbed my arms. I struggled against their hold, my voice coming out muffled as someone placed their hand over my mouth. 

What the hell..!

A sweet scent reached my nose. My eyes widened, realizing what it was but it was too late. Feeling sleepy, my eyelids closed. Before long, my mind drifted out of consciousness and everything went black. 

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