I Heard You

Chapter 23: Gift

I was busy painting the walls of the art building (as a punishment for ditching the contest last week) when I heard Savanna's soft sobs. Sumulyap agad ako sa kanya. She was sitting on a monoblock chair just a few feet away from me.

"Angel." I called but of course, she didn't hear me kaya lumapit ako at tinignan ang dahilan ng pag-iyak niya. Nakaharap siya sa aking laptop at nanonood ng isang movie. It was an adaptation of a book by Jojo Moyes, about a girl named Louisa Clark and a quadriplegic guy, Will Traynor. It is one of those tear-jerker movies.

Kahit na hindi naririnig ni Sav ang tunog sa pelikula ay talagang apektadong-apektado pa rin siya. Nagbabase lamang siya sa subtitles at pag-galaw ng mga tauhan.

Lalo siyang humagulgol nang ipakita na ang credits, hudyat na tapos na talaga ang movie, "Wala na! Tapos na! Hindi sila nagkatuluyan!" She even pointed at the screen, her tears were falling uncontrollably.

I know I hate it when she cries but she's being all too cute again. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan mapangiti.

"Nakakainis si Will, napapasaya naman siya ni Lou eh!" She complained. I chuckled and made her look at me, pinunasan ko ang mga luha niya gamit ang hinlalaki ko habang siya nama'y nagpatuloy sa pag-rereklamo.

"Ang unfair. He decided for himself. Hindi niya iniisip na sa desisyon niya, maraming masasaktan. Eh ano kung mabuhay siyang nasa wheelchair, ako nga hindi nakakarinig eh!" She pouted and then, stared at me for a while. I love it when she stares at me like that. Iyong nasa akin lang ang buong atensyon niya. Ang saya sa pakiramdam eh, kahit na madalas nagiinit ang pisngi ko dahil doon.

"If you were him, would you do the same?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Stop crying first and I will answer your question." I told her. Naintindihan naman niya ang ibig kong iparating dahil pinilit niyang huminto sa pag-iyak. I helped her wipe her excess tears. Tapos ay inayos ko ang kanyang buhok. Gustung-gusto ko talagang inaalagaan ko siya.

Matapos noon ay kinuha ko ang phone ko sa bulsa para makapagtipa ng sasabihin.

Cryd: If I were him, mawawalan din ako ng pag-asang mabuhay. Being a quadriplegic is hard.

"You mean...you'll die willingly?"

Cryd: Syempre, sasagi iyon sa isip ko. I'd rather die than live paralyzed.

Kumunot ng sobra ang noo niya dahil sa naging sagot ko. I laughed. I'm just stating the truth. Kung sakaling ako iyong quadriplegic, maiisipan ko ding mamatay na lamang. Maiisipan pero hindi ko gagawin. I'm not stupid. I won't leave the people I love just because I have disability. As long as they're there (my family, friends, and Sav), I'll continue living...kahit mahirap, mabubuhay ako para sa kanila.

But of course, the man had a hard time. He got tired of living even though he has reasons to live.

Cryd: You should understand him, Sav. He lost hope. He's an adventurist. At dahil sa kalagayan niya, hindi na niya magagawa ang mga kinasanayan niyang gawin. He's stucked in that situation. And he thinks the only way to end it is to die. Dying is easy, living is hard. What more if you can't move and do the things you love?

"Just because he have a disability, doesn't mean he should commit suicide!" Nagkasalubong ang kanyang kilay, "I'm offended. I'm deaf. But I don't want to die. Live life to the fullest 'cause YOLO."

Nakakatuwang ganyan siya mag-isip. At least, despite her deficiency, she didn't consider death as an answer. Baka mabaliw ako kung ganoon siya mag-isip.

Cryd: People have different POVs, Sav. Besides, you're given a chance to hear again. Siya, wala na. Stucked na siya doon. No more hopes. Dead end.