I'll remember him. ~onedirection~

Lou

*Louis POV*

Damn Kate, why do you have to be this difficult? I know that what I'm doing is wrong but I can't tell her the truth tonight. My mother is still too emotional of giving birth and being back home. I'll tell her when she's ready to hear me say it. Kate isn't telling her, who does she think she is?

I hear a baby crying, oh no not again. I run up the stairs for the fift time in twinty minutes to find a crying baby . Max is sleeping but Jade's head is almost purple from crying.

"Hey little girl, it's okay, Louis is here."

I lift her up and hold her in my arms. I rock my body hoping it will calm her down but she keeps screaming. She reminds me of Kate, she used to cry like this too. I walk cirkels but the blue eyed baby won't stop.

"Are you hungry? Yea?"

I hold her little body tight against mine and walk downstairs to get her milk out of the fridge. I put it in the microwave to warm it. Jade just won't stop screaming, her head is purple now and for a second I'l scared she'll die. What if? My mother would never forgive me, she would never forgive herself. And Kate wouldn't speak to me again.
There's a bing and the light of the microwave pops off. I get the warm milk out if it and put a little bit on my hand to feel it is too hot or too cold.
It has an excellent temperature, I bring the bottle to Jade's tender lips and she sucks it like she hasn't eaten in a month.

"How can you be this hungry? It's only two and you ate an hour ago." I complain but she doesn't look at me. She keeps sucking the plastic without breathing. I pull the bottle away to let her breathe but she pulls it back to her mouth. How can a little body like hers eat so much in such a short time?
She's a real Tomlinson! Wait.. whats her name? They have another father than Kate and I... who is their father?
What's their name?
Jade and Max Tomlinson? to my dad's name. Or Jade and Max Clarckson? to my mother's. I'll ask her when I see her tonight. Tonight. Kate isn't telling her right? She wouldn't do that to me.
Would she?
My phone rings and I pull the bottle out of the baby's mouth and put it on the table. I try to grab my phone out of my pocket with one hand. After a few times failing I got him. I anwser him without looking whi's actually calling.

"How is it going?" a voice full of concern asks. This only can be Kate or my mother, I guess it's the first option.
"Great actually, I just gave Jade her food for the second time in an hour."
"You can't give her so much milk!"
"She was crying, she was hungry!"
"Stop yelling at me!"
"You were yelling first!"
"I just try to help you!"
"I don't need your help!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"

I hang up the phone, Jade is staring at me with big eyes,
"That was your sister, we're not always like this." I say hoping I'm telling the truth. She smiles a little and I smile back, a real smile this time. It's been such a long time since I smiled, a real smile. It was when I saw Kate after such a long time She was staying at the hospital, I could make her walk in the building she hates more than prison.

I walk back upstairs, when I reach the babyroom Max has opened his eyes too. He's really cute actually. I put Jade back into her bed and give her a teddybeer to play with. I turn to Max who's still staring at the ceiling with big green eyes. I want to be good for him. And for Jade of course. I want to be good for Kate too but she doesn't let me be like we were younger. Since I told her there's a distance between us that I can't explain. I want it to end. Now.
Without thinking I grab my phone and before I realize I'm calling my sister.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" she's concerned like always.
"No, I just want it to end."
"What?" her voice is hard and her anwsers short.
"This. The tention between us. I want to be like before Kate. Like before your accident. Before my lie."
"I'm sorry that I cant remember anything because of that! Louis I didn't know you were my brother how do you expect le to know how I treated you before? And with your lie, you should have thought earlier about the consiquenses!" I understand her madness completely, but I hate it. I hate it she's right. Like always. Like she's older than me and knows everything.
"I'm sorry but I'm not the reason of your accident!"
"But you're the reason of your lie!"
"Just stop about it!"
"You started with mentioning it..."
Damn, again she's right.
"I'm sorry I want you to love me, that I want you to let me love you like I did before." I'm almost crying. I try to hold my tears but my voice betrays me.
"Louis, I miss you. But I can't act like nothing happend..."
"I know, sorry for calling."
"Don't, It's okay."
There's an awkward silence that actually isn't that awkward at all. We had a lot of this selences in the past but now it's different.
"See you."
"Yea I'm home in half an hour."
"Okay."
"Okay."

Her voice is soft. It's almost funny how her voice changed since my first call.
She was screaming at me. She probably embarrased herself and Liam. The whole school was probably listening to her screaming.
I put my phone back in my pocket. Max is staring at me.
"You want to play?" I smile and he starts shaking with his whole body.
I take him into my hands and lift him up above my head. He's flying like an plane in the sky. His mouth makes funny noices. Laughing, screaming, giggling... every sound that exists he makes with his tender lips.
I hug him tight.
"I hope I can be the brother you deserve." I whisper and he tugs my hair with his tiny hands. I love this kid.
I love both of them. I loved them from the first time I saw them.

I put Max back into his bed.
"Time to sleep my friends." I say and put the lights off. I kiss both of them on their forhead before closing the door behind me. I wait a few seconds.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7 Okay, I can leave.
I walk down the hallway to go back to my old bedroom. There are still a lot of clothes in my dresser. I should take them with me when I go back to Emma.
Emma.
I should call her. I promised her... damn I forgot with all this shit with Kate and my mother.

"Where were you? Is everything allright? Why didn't you call? What's wrong Lou? How are you? How are the kids? Are they okay? Are you okay?"

From the moment she picks up the phone she's overloading me with questions. I cant anwser most of them.
Why didn't I call? What's wrong? Am I okay? I don't know.

"Hey Emms, Uhm I'm allright I guess. They're better than okay, they're fantastic. So cute."
"Nice to hear that."I hear in her voice she means it.
"I just miss you." I add.
I know it sounds cliché but it's true.
"I miss you too Lou." she whispers more to herself than to me.
"i'll call you back later." I promise.
"Sure." she says. She's not convinced I can hear it in her voice but I ignore it. She hangs up but I don't remove the phone from my ear.

After standing there for minutes like that I hear the front door opening.