I'll remember him. ~onedirection~

Guilt

*Celine's POV*

Kate and Liam left. We're sitting on the couch, they're talking about Kate's birthday and how much Liam loves her. I'm not listening, the only thing I can think about is me and Niall. I know it's selfish and I'm so happy for Kate she deserves this but I just can't get it out of my head.

He said we need some time. It's true but I don't want it to take long cause I already miss him. I want to go back to the time we were kissing in the bathroom ignoring Astrid. How he woke up next to me with his hand on my stomache.

Time goes by so quickly.

Every time Niall's eyes meet mine we both look away. It's so strange.
He was my best friend, my boyfriend. He knows everything about me, we slept more together than alone and now we daren't look into each others eyes anymore.

I hate this, I need to get away from here. I stand up and suddenly all the eyes are on me.

"I... I need some air." I stutter and walk to the kitchen. The candles are still burning like little stars in the dark sky.
I open the door and walk outside. It's freezing here but I didn't bring my jacket with me. I take a seat on a chair and look up at the sky.

I can't help but my fingers are suddenly crossed, I close my eyes.
What am I doing?
I hear myself praying that everything will be allright.
I don't really believe in god but when he's up there I hope he's
listening to me.

I hear the sound of the door and quickly recover myself.

It's Niall.

Great.

"How long are you already standing there?" I dare to ask.

"Long enough." is his only anwser.

Of course it is.

"Can I take a seat?" he asks and I wave with my hand to show him its okay.
There's a silence that's awkward for both of us.

He comes closer, and closer.
His lips try to kiss mine but I pull away and turn my cheek to him.
His eyes.. heartbreaking.
No that's what I am, I'm heartbreaking.
Why did I do this?

"I'm sorry, we just need to take things slow I guess."

"Yea," his voice is harsh. "I guess."

'You're overacting Celine."
'Don't you think he has the right to be insecure?"

She's right. Niall forgave me and gave me a second chance. I should take it with my two hands. I don't want to lose him.

"Niall I'm so sorry." I repeat.
"It's nothing really you're ri..."

He's interrupted by my lips. I kiss him hard on his lips. It feels like ages I kissed him like this, his tongue dancing with mine. His hands travel to my back to pull me onto his lap. I kiss him as hard as possible like it's the
last time. Maybe god did listen to me?


*Kate's POV*

I still can't believe this is really happening. I love him so much.
When we open the front door Niall and Celine aren't sitting on the couch like the others. Louis, Zayn and Astrid are talking.
"They're outside."
Louis informs me when he sees the look on my face.

"We can watch a movie?" Liam asks and everybody nods except of Zayn.
"I think I should go." he says and walks to the door.
"Zayn wait!" Liam runs after him.


*Zayn's POV*

I just can't look at him anymore. Everytime he smiles it drives me crazy, every minute I spend with him I feel even more guilty.

"Zayn wait!" his voice yells.
Please no.
I keep walking down the sidewalk, pretending I don't hear him.
I can't tell him now, it will break his heart an ruin his day.

"Don't ignore me!" his voice is hard.
I know he isn't mad at me, he never is, at anybody. But that will change when I tell him I'm fucking gay.

His hand lays on my shoulder and I stop walking. He doesn't deserve this.
"What's wrong Zayn? Why are you acting this weird?"
I can't tell him. It will break his big heart and he will say he can't talk to me again. Why can't I just be normal? Damn.


"Zayn?" Despiration is clear in his voice
"Liam." I start, I have no idea how to end this sentence.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or not cause it's killing me to see you this way."

Oh Liam, if anyone is dying here its me.

"I'll tell you another time." I try to smile so he'll let it go.

"No Zayn tell me now." I should have known he wasn't going to let it go.

"I said I'll tell you another time Liam, I can't tell you know, just go back and have fun with your family and friends."

"You're my friend too Zayn, why can't you talk to me? Why can't you stay here and watch a movie with us?"

"Cause you're happy and I don't want that to end because of me."

"Zayn... I want to help you."

"I know Liam but please let me explain it to you another time, please?"

"Okay.. okay." he takes a few steps back before turning around. I don't want to hurt him, he's too good to be hurt. He is the last person on earth I want to hurt but I have to.



*Niall's POV*

When we got back inside Kate told us where my brother and Zayn were, the front door opens and Liam walks in the room, alone.

"So... a movie." Liam says and sits down next to his girlfriend. Celine is sitting on my lap and Kate's sitting between Louis and Liam. Astrid is sitting on a chair next to Liam, she stands up to put a movie into the reader.

After 20 minutes Kate and Celine are already asleep, I think Astrid would be asleep too if she wasn't sitting on a chair. My fingers play with the dark curls laying on my chest, Liam kisses Kate's forhead. This is going to be a long night.

When the movie ends As and I decide to go home.

"How are we going to get home? Zayn drove us here." Astrid says.

"You can sleep here if you want? Niall and Celine can sleep in my bed and me and Astrid can sleep on a couch."
Louis proposes.

"Thank you." my sister smiles at Louis.

I lift Celine up and cary her upstairs.
Liam does the same and in the hallway we look at each other, both carying a girl in our arms. We both smile and shake our heads and walk in 'our' rooms.

I lay her down on the bed and pull her heels off. I cover her body with the blanket and lay down next to her.

I kiss her cheek before closing my eyes.




(Well, I'll only be able to update tonight because I'm going to visit family... I'll write in the car so I can update tonight okay? The chapters are getting longer huh? haha xo thanks for reading babes! 🐢
Story of my life is per-fect.)