Their World | Rilaya

6: Masked

"What are you so afraid of?" Riley shouts.

This stops Maya, she opens her mouth, but she is unable to say a word.

"Maya, I'm sorry," Riley says, realizing she hurt her friend.

"My fears, Riley. They became true... And that's what I was always afraid of."

"Maya..."

"I don't think you could ever understand, Riley. As much as I know you will try to, you just won't be able to understand."

"Why not?"

"Because, we all have our own fears and most of us are able to live with them, control them. But not me... My fears were the ones that controlled me for so long. Before I could even realize it, I was more my fears than I was myself."

"Maya... I'm sor-"

"Don't say you're sorry," Maya interrupts the brunette. "There is no reason you should be sorry for me."

"But-"

"But nothing, Riley. The only way I could even somewhat control my fears was to hide them, pretend that they weren't there. But they were, so I acted tough and made people believe nothing was wrong with me. But I was broken, so broken that I didn't think I would ever be able I heal."

"Did you ever heal?"

"Well you see, this little ray of sunshine came into my life. She gave me happiness and hope, but I still hid my fears, because before I knew it one came true."

"You're dad..."

"He left us... Then a brand new came along... I felt different from everyone else. I never really could figure out why... That is until I did."

Riley is quiet, trying to keep herself from crying.

"I realized I was in love with you, Riley. But I told myself that I wasn't allowed to, that it was wrong. So just like everything else I hid that too. I didn't want anyone to know about my sexuality, not even myself. I feared that they would make fun of me, laugh at me and judge me for liking who I like... Besides that, my biggest fear was that if you ever found out, I would end up losing you. My hope, my sunshine."

A tear falls down Riley's face and she smiles, "that could never happen,"

"Slowly you healed me. I became more like myself, I felt like I didn't need to keep my mask on anymore, that I could be me. You did that, Riles. I didn't need to be someone else to take on the world, I just needed you. I finally accepted myself."

"I think I know the story from here, Maya."

"But you don't. Once again I tried to hid my feelings, but Farkle wouldn't let me this time. Then I told you how I feel and before I knew it you said you liked me back. That's story you know. Last Friday was the greatest day of my life, I conquered my fears I held in for so long... But what you don't know is that just like always new fears came along."

"Like what?"

"Everything is always too good to be true. I was too selfish to see what I was doing before it was too late."

"What did you do?"

"We started dating."

"Maya, how is that a bad thing?"

"Because I knew that the day I came out, my fears would turn into a reality. Not everyone was going to accept me, and when that day came I was finally going to be okay with that. But I dragged you into it too. They aren't attacking just me, they're also attacking you. If I barely even have enough courage to stand up for myself, then how would I ever be able to protect you?"

"That's why you want to break up? Because you don't think that you can protect me?"

"I know I can't protect you. Did you see what Missy did to us? I just sat there, Riley, leaving you to fight for yourself. To take on the hate I deserved. If I never told you that I was in love with you, you never would have-"

"Would have what? Realized that the best possible person in this world for me was right in front of my face this entire time? I can protect myself, Maya. I hope that whenever you need it, you can let me protect you too. You didn't drag me into anything I wasn't ready for."

Riley pauses before adding, "And Maya, never let yourself think that you deserve anything but love... Ever."

Maya smiles, "I don't think you'd ever let me."