You don't know my story

Chapter Four- Nothing Gets Better

I woke the next morning and I still felt numb, but i was mad and I didn't know why. I got up to shower and brush my teeth. I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror some times I don't know why I am here like honestly can i just like die.. I have thought about that one before actually a lot cause it would take the pain away but I was taking pills one night and my brother walked in on me and we talked it out. I felt better but I still thought about doing it. I shook the thoughts out of my head and got into the shower. I let the water run all down my body and then I let the tears fall freely not stopping anything. i put my head on the water of the shower and just let the hot water keep rolling down my body the tears have stopped now but I'm still so mad for some reason. I got out of the shower after i washed my hair and did the usually. 

I wrapped the towel around my slim body and walked into my room I put on some white short shorts and a Hollister teal tank top. I left my long hair down to finish air drying and walked down stairs. My mom and dad were standing in to living room just smiling at each. God how i wished i had that. I walked in and sat down. My dad walked over to me and give me a hug.

"We should talk about what happened" he said. i was already in a bad mood and this going to make it worst.

"No, I don't think we should." I said rudely. I wasn't one to usually be rude to my parents but they know I don't like talking about this at all.

"That's no way to talk to me. I'm trying to help." My dad said anger in his voice he usually scares me when he is mad but not this time. I stood up.

"No you will never be able to help because you don't know what it was like! You were not there you probably had a perfect life when you were "mr.Badboy." You and mom have NO idea how much I hurt inside! Nothing gets better Its not going to I don't know how to change my mind so I don't think about it but I CAN NOT GET IT OUT!  Its everything i see EVERY time I close my eyes! JUST STOP acting like you know how i feel cause you DON'T and NEVER well just stop!" I yelled. The anger was boiling in me and i just had to let it out.

"Sit down cause you know nothing about your mother and I past. But today you will leave cause we actually do know what your going through cause we went through it to damn it!" My dad yelled back.

"Wait what did you just say." I said confused about what he just said. He said that they went through it to wait what the hell is going on?

"Just listen. When I was 7 years old I had a little sister that was 4. When I was 7 my uncle started raping me every day of my life because when my parents worked he watched us. When I was 10 and my sister turn 7 he started raping her too. He told us he would kill us if we told and we were little so we didn't think about. I tired stopping him when he raped my sister but when I did I just got it 3 times worst cause if stopped him with her. When she was 8 years old she killed her self cause she couldn't take it. I just did what you did I just went out slept around and got drunk, high did anything to get my mind off it but only one thing did and that was your mom. When we started dating it was perfect but then we had some bad times. One night I went out and my uncle had gotten out of jail and he texted me and aid he was watching me. Well that night me and your mom got into a big fight well we mad up and the next night we went to hang out with friends but she forgot a shirt she was suppose to give back to her friend and went back to the house and on her way back my uncle got her. He raped her an then the cops found him and shot him. It took a while for your mom to get over but she did but she let it go that's what you have to do you cant keep holding it in. Baby just let it go." He finished what he said and he was right i had to let it go as hard as it may be and here I thought my parents didn't know how I felt when they know how i do. 

i had tears in my eyes and walked up to him and just hugged him as tight as I could and cried again. He held me for want seemed forever. I finally let go and smiled a sad smile at my dad and he did the same. I really did have great parents that cared a lot for me and I'm so thankful for that. I told my parents i was gonna go talk to Nate and tell him sorry for doing what I did. He was only trying to help. I have my first day of school tomorrow at my new school so they told me not to be too long and I agreed that I needed some sleep. 

I walked next door to Nate's house and tapped the door a little bit. The door opened but I didn't seen any one standing there. Until i looked down to see the little boy and girl that looked like twin maybe 5. 

"Hello." The little boy said with a smile but he had trouble with the word. I smiled and bent down to there level.

"Hey." I smiled back.

"What's you nam?" The little girl said she couldn't say it perfect but she was getting there. 

"Jazlyn but you can call me Jaz what are you're names?" I smiled back.

"My nam is Parker" The little boy said proudly.

"My nam is Bella." The little girl said shyly. 

"Are yall twins?" I said and the nodded there heads.

"Me and my brother are twins too." I smiled and their little face lit up.

About that time Nate walked. 

"How many times have I told yall not to open the door by your self." He said. Wow protective. 

"Sorry bubba." They said as he picked them up. They looked sad.

"Hey its okay just i want yall to be safe. now do i have to tickle yall are you going to smile." He laughed and they smiled real big. That's cute. I thought to my self.

"Know go play while I talk." The nodded and he sat the down on the floor. They ran over to me and hugged my legs and I hugged them back and said goodbye. 

"Sorry they are only 6." He said. Damn I was close. 

"Hey its cool they are cute."

"Don't let that fool you." We both laughed then stop and it kind of go awkward.

I looked up at him and we was already staring at me. His hair was messy a little bit but in a good way. He had a cut off shirt and i could see his tattoos in his arms and I could see the ones on his ribs but couldn't make out what it was. His lip ring was shining from the moon light. He was like a god looking thing lord.. He was a bad boy though I bet he sleeps around. 

"Um.." I started to break the silence. "Thanks for yesterday I'm sorry about acting that way  I just don't like people knowing."

"You cant run from your problems cause they never go away unless you face them." He said and was so right. I nodded.

"But i mean hey we all have secrets so yeah." He added. I nodded again. 

"Just thanks again. for getting me home safe at least." I smiled. 

"Yep no problem." He nodded. 

"See ya tomorrow or something." I said.

I went to walk off when he caught my arm and turned me around.

"Hey would you want to ride with me to school tomorrow." He asked

"Um.. Sure." I said I mean what could it hurt it was the least I could do since he helped me.

"I leave at 7:35 meet me here." He stated and let go I nodded and walked down the steps. I turned around once more and waved with a small smile and he was leaning on the door and had that hot smirk on his face and nodded. I then walked o my house and went up stairs. 

I changed cloths and turned on my ipod to listen to. My favorite song was on. Roger rabbit by sleeping with the sirens. (Song to the side--->) and with that I fell asleep.

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Hey guys! I hope you all liked this chapter I tried to make it all! SO any ways I hope you like this book trust me its going to get better! But anyway vote comment and share! That's my favorite song what is yours leave it at the bottom! Thanks love you all

-Sid..