Nov. 21
Dear Alex,
We cleaned out the stables again, and brushed down the horses. They're so lovely- I've always wanted to learn how to horseback ride, but my family never had the money for lessons.
"I think if I was an animal, I would be a horse," I told you, as I brushed down a thoroughbred named Ladybird.
"No you wouldn't," you told me.
"So, what then?"
"You would be a bird."
"What?"
"Because you're beautiful and sad and you're always aching to fly away."
I looked up at you and you were blushing like mad, a red-coloured splotch working it's way up your neck. You glanced at me and smiled sheepishly, then looked down again.
"You're adorable," I giggled.
"Wrong again."
"What now?"
"You're adorable. I just adapt to my surroundings."
"Someone has become quite the suck-up!"
"Can I kiss you?
"Right now?"
"Please?"
We locked eyes again, over the backs of the horses we were cleaning.
"With the horses?" I mouthed.
You laughed and rubbed your horse's nose.
"Why did you move in with him?" You asked.
My muscles went cold, then I started brushing Ladybird's side excessively fast. "What else was I supposed to do?"
"Did you love him?"
"Yes. No. Maybe. I was scared, Alex."
"Do you love me?"
"Of course. You know I love you."
"Do you still think about him?"
"Well, yeah, but not like that."
"Why did you let him hurt you?"
"I didn't..."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid of-"
"What he would do to you."
"Yes," I said, weakly.
"Did you-"
"Alex, don't go there."
"But I have to know."
"Why do you have to? Will you love me less if I did?"
"Never."
"So it's not important."
You wrapped your arms around your horse's neck as if giving it a hug. "But did you?"
I sighed. "Yes, Alex."
"Was it good?"
"Yes and no. Yes, because at first he made me feel loved. But mostly no, because he started... well... after a while it was never... consensual."
"He raped you?!"
"Don't say that!" tears sprung to my eyes. "No more questions." My voice came out watery. You walked over to me, arms wide.
"Carrie," you said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I asked." You wrapped me up in you and let me cry on your winter jacket. "I love you, okay? I love you."
"Why did you leave me?" I whimpered.
"I came back," you said, into my hair.
I didn't have the energy to fight it. I just needed to cry. So I did.
Love,
Carrie
YOU ARE READING
Wayward Hearts
Teen Fiction"Remember when we were voted cutest couple at the end of senior year? A lot has changed since then. Tell me- why did you come back?" Alex and Carrie have been best friends for as long as they can remember. Suffering through life in their poor, dump...
