My dearest Russel:
Funny how time flies and how fate works. I was just an ordinary girl with simple dreams and pleasure in mind, until one day, I met my sweet serendipity. YOU.
When I haven’t known you, there were only books and me. Suddenly, you came and I found out that the world is full of great things that are hidden waiting for me to unveil.
I never thought I could pour my heart out for someone who’s larger than life. You were just a dream, suddenly, you became real. So real that I look forward in everyday that the lord made for us. I look forward on every day that I’ll be able to hear your voice and tell me your sweet nothings. That moment on, I knew I’ve fallen for you.
I thought falling in love was easy. I guess I was wrong. Because it’s not just what makes you happy, it’s all about what makes the person you love happy.
You are a part of me I wish I didn’t have. Coz if there’s one thing I regret for meeting you, it’ll be the pain of saying goodbye.
I’m not going to ask you to understand or even forgive me. I deserve that. And you deserve to be happy. You can hate me. You can even forget me if you want. But don’t you ever doubt that I didn’t love you. Because God knows how painful it is to let go of the man I dreamed of spending my life with.
I’m sorry…
Raine
If loving someone meant getting hurt by this much in the end, then he swears never to fall in love again. How can a woman walk straight to im and stole his heart? And throw it away in the end? How can love be so cruel? How can Raine be this cruel?
He received the letter sent to him by Raine through his friend TR right after they won the championship for the UAAP season. While reading the letter, he felt like the world stopped and everything came crushing down on him. Where did he go wrong? He may be busy for the finals but he made sure he still has time for her. He even thought the letter was only a joke. He tried to call her but she wasn’t picking up the phone. He called her friends and he learned that she’s leaving the country.
He rushed to the airport because it’s the day of Raine’s flight. And she was there.
“Raine!” he shouted.
Hindi lumingon ang dalaga. Inulit niyang tawagi ito. “Raine!” ngunit wala pa rin.
The security personnel came to restrain him. He tried to get off them. “I need to stop her. Raine!”
“Sir, pasensiya na po. Trabaho lang.”
“Hindi niyo naiintindihan. I need to speak to her!” tinawag niya ulit dito, but it seems like she doesn’t hear anything. Hanggang sa sumuko na siya. How can he watch the woman he love so much, just walk away now? How can he be so helpless?
“Sir, tayo na po.” Yakag sa kanya ng mga security ng airport. Iwinaksi lang niya ang mga kamay ng mga ito. He gave one last look at the door where Raine entered hoping she’ll come back. But she never did. So, he turned his back and walked out of that place leaving his heart in there, bleeding.
I gave my heart to you, Raine. Why did you throw it away?
“Bro! tama na yan. Umuwi na tayo.” Saway ni TR kay Russel.
“Inom pa tayo! Bro, naman! we won the championship! We should be celebrating!!!” itinaas ni Russel ang kanyang bote ng beer. Pero ni isa man sa mga kasama niya ay nakipag-touche sa kanya. Alam ng mga ito ang pinagdadaanan niya. He was dumped by the woman he thought will never break his heart. Pero sa huli ay iiwan lang din pala siya nito tulad ng pag-iwan sa kanya ng ex niya.
“Russ, man. Hindi mo na kayang mag-drive niyan pauwi.” Saway rin ni RR sa kanya.
“Kaya ko pa. Mas magaling pa kayo sa akin.” Nakakatatlong bote na siya ng beer at napakahina pa man din ng alcohol tolerance niya. “Inom pa!”
“Man, let’s go.” Pilit siyang itinayo ni Thomas.
Pumiksi si Russel.”Get your hands of me.”
“Russel ano ba?! Lasing ka na!” sigaw na rin ni Jeron dito.
“Wala kang pakialam!” asik niya sa mga ito.
“Kaibigan mo kami.” Saad ni RR.
“Then spare me your lecture!”
“Look, if you’re mad about Raine-”
Hinaklit ni Russl ang kwelyo ni TR. ”Don’t you ever say her name again. I don’t want to hear you all say her name again.” Banta niya sa mga ito.
“Okay. Bitawan mo na ako, tol!” saway ni TR rito.
Binitawan naman siya ni Russel. “Let’s go.” Nauna itong tinahak ang pinto ng bar palabas.
Napailing na lang ang mga kaibigan niya. alam nila kung ano ang pinagdaraanan ng kaibigan nila. Maging ang mga kaibigan nilang nasa ibang team ay sumama para mailawaliw nila ang pagiging broken hearted ng kaibigan nila.
Ngayon lang ulit nila nakitang ganito ito. Noong unang beses itong nasaktan ay di niya ito gaanong dinamdam. He must have loved her so much. Wala naman silang karapatang husgahan si raine dahil hindi nila alam ang totoong pangyayari. Pero bilang kaibigan ni Russel ay dito sila nakikisimpatya.
“To hell with those women!” naiinis na sambit ni Jeric. Nagsipag-sang-ayon naman ang mga kasama nito sabay labas ng bar.
“Kami na maghahatid sau tol.” Aniya ni RR.
Tumango na lang si Russel at wala ng sinabi pa. habang nasa sasakyan sila ay napakalalim ng iniisip nito. Siguro nga ay hindi ito lasing pero mukhang di nito kaya pang magdrive dahil sa dinaramdam na kabiguan…
“Will you quit staring at me.” asik nito sa dalawang nasa tabi niya.
“Bakit ba?” asik din ni Thomas at Jeron.
“Hoy, para kayong mga bakla jan!” saway din ni TR sa mga ito.
“Ang gwapo mo, fafa Russel!” nagbaklabaklaan ang mga ito.
“Oh shut up, Jeron!” saway ni Jeric sa nakababatang kapatid.
“Hay naku! Inggit ka na naman, sister!” saot ni Jeron sa kapatid.
Sasagot pa sana si Jeric kaso siniko siya ni RR nasenyales na sakyan na lamang nito ang kalokohan nila ni Thomas. Nanahimik naman si Jeric sa upuan. “Kaloka kayo, sisters!” maya-maya pa ay sabi nito.
“Stop that! Ihuhulog ko kayo sa daan.” Banta ni Russel sa mga ito.
Tumahimik na lang ang mga kaibigan niya dahil talagang wala ito sa mood.
_______________________________________________________________
Walang lumipas na araw na hindi iniisip ni Russel si Raine. At first he missed her. He missed the things they do together. He missed her laugh. He missed her voice… everything about her. Umasa din siya that on his birthday maybe she’ll send him a card. Or maybe she’ll greet him through social networking sites. Pero umasa lang siya sa wala.
He never felt this way before his first breakup. Iba talaga kung true love. Masakit pumana si kupido. But it was his choice. He licensed himself to fall in love and he knew that love is accompanied by pain, yet, he gave in. He just thought this it’ll be different. But then again he was wrong.
Until one day he realized she’s never really coming back. He realized he’d been a fool waiting for so long for nothing. And he decided to let go of her. And move on. But whoever said moving on is that easy, is a fool, too. Dahil habang pinipilit mong kalimutan ang mga bagay na dapat ng ibaon sa limot ay lalong tumitindi ang nararamdaman niya. He doesn’t want to be mad her but everything just keeps getting on his head and it’s just so hard to bear. Kaya mas madali na lang ibunton dito ang lahat ng sama ng loob.
Hawak ni Russel ang picture frame na kung saan ay litrato nila ni Raine na nakaharap sila sa isa’t isa at nagngingitian. He lifts it up and stared at it for a while. “I hope you’re happy now.” Usal nito. After staring at it, he threw it in the trash bin.
Russel finally bid,“Goodbye, Raine.”
