Weekly Randoms

Girls! Girls! Girls!

For starters I was at a lost as to what to title this. I knew I was going to post it today so I was trying to come up with something good. I thought about something straight forward like “What Wattpad taught me about Girls” Or  “Wattpad’s lessons for Boys”. But that didn’t sound all that fun …so I was like I’ll go with something Outrageous.  That word alone…..(OUTRAGEOUS)….makes me want to shake my fist in the air and be like HELLS YEAH!

But after a while my outrageous thoughts turned down Perversion Street and there was no way I would post those. So dialing back a bit I ended up with “Girls Girls Girls!” A true classic :D

 Okay so what is this random post about?

It is about What I have learned about girls from/through Wattpad. What I mean by “from/through” is that Based on what I read and the conversations that I have had, is giving me a “better?” understanding of girls. (Maybe)

Sure after 19 (almost 20) years of being around girls I have learned something already.

In my house I have my mom and little sister (Awesome A). They love me because I am just so awesome but they are quick to call me an idiot (That’s pretty much the case with everyone I know).

My current girlfriend, past girlfriends, and friends that are girls (Its crazy I used to think girls were the nastiest things in the world. Back in elementary school you had to get a “cootie shot” or else you wouldn’t make it to the end of the day. Circle, circle. Dot, dot. Now you've got the cootie shot. Circle, circle. Square, square. Now you have it everywhere. Circle, circle. Knife, knife. Now you've got it all your life. I had to teach my brothers to keep ‘em safe.) they only show guys what they want us to see. SO Wattpad is like an undercover deal. That makes me like a secret spy. I need a theme song…yeah I’ma get one of them.

Okay before you continue to read I REALLY want to make sure that you know this is only based off what I read. Maybe 30 to 40 different stories in every genre and then some partially read ones. I just don’t want no body getting mad at me. But what I say is the truth.

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Where to start?……….Vampires maybe? Happy Endings? Boyfriends? The Gay Best Friend? High School? College? Parents Who Don’t Give A F*ck or Are Never There? The Feelings? Hair? Teachers? Showers? Sex? Movies? Babies? Jerk V.S. Player? Parties? Sluts V.S. Whores?  Underage Drug Use? ……DUCKS?

Okay  so a lot of wattpad stories have something to do with romance (*cough*cough*Kill me now *cough*) and with those stories they show how girls act, think, feel, and what the aspect from us guys. I know taking a few people’s stories and generalizing it to cover all girls is pushing it but If it was way off based people wouldn’t read it and it wouldn’t be so common in the stuff I have read. (I really am thinking too much. I don’t think I’m explaining myself right.)

So having read a few I think I know a thing or two. Girls tend to want guys they can change. And the bigger the problem the better (again strictly based off what I read!)

:::::Evidence:::::

1.)    Having stories were the guys who are will known for being a jerk or a “Player”(I don’t really like that word. Player. But whatever). The girl wants to be with them any way and at the end of the story they aren’t a “Jerk” or “Player” anymore. The guy is now totally faithful and respectful because of the girl and whatever.

Girls LOVE it when guys smirk! There’s no question has to be fact(or just a writing thing.) because it is in every single story I have ever read. I’m not even 100% sure what it is. Its like a smile but not a smile. (I googled smirk and ended up looking at a bunch of different faces. I don’t think anyone knows what it is)

:::::::Evidence::::::::

1.)'Because.' he said, smirking, 'You gonna have to marry me, so you better get used to my...generosity.'

2.)“And my lap is always available.” Zack said, smirking at me.

3.)He smirked, stepping forward, forcing me back until my back was against the counter.

When girls have problems they like to just about give themselves 3rd degree burns in the shower.

:::::Evidence::::::

1.)As much as I wanted to stay in the shower and just stand under the hot spray even then we’d run out of hot water and I’d have to get out.

2.)I got into the shower once he was gone and turned the water on until it was scalding hot. I just stood under the burning hot spray, letting it warm me up and get some life back before I slowly started washing my long brown hair.

3.)I took a hot shower, hoping in the scalding water would wake me up some more.

Girls have this weird thing about hating each other for no clear reason at all but its mutual hate. (I’ve seen this in person. One time the two of them were sitting at a table talking about how much they hated each other and why. If you couldn’t hear what they were talking about the weather or something. It was kinda scary, you could feel the need to kill each other from them.)

:::::::Evidence:::::::::

1.)    The evidence is everywhere. Books, tv, ect. But in the stories written here the main character later finds out how pathetic the person they hated was and then becomes friends with them. Or they die or something. (Same thing with guys too but ya’ll have the two fall in “love”)

Girls want rich “hot” guys

:::::::Evidence::::::

1.)    Well for starters science says this is true.

2.)    The Vampires, girls seem to love so much are always rich. (I looked into what was with the sudden craze with vampires. And what I found was vampires have a pattern of showing up in entertainment when the economy gets bad. Its that way all over the world. Bad economy = vampires. In bad economies people want to escape the everyday and the mystery and “fantasy” of vampires gives people that. SO I say that is the only reason why ‘Sparkle’  lives to make another movie.)

3.)    Even dealing with average people the guy who is the love interest is rich/has money.  

Girls can be just as big as a pervert as guys.

::::::::::Evidence::::::::::

                    1.) The comments. (I read my first sex scene here on wattpad and lets just say it was almost as awkward as watching a movie and the next thing you know somebody’s naked and my mom walks in. Asking what the hell am I doing.) Anyway the comments to sure scenes are…………. “Its about time” “Whew! Hot hot hot! Awesome!” “DAMN! now i feel likie a MAJOR perv ! =O” “Dude best ‘   ‘ scene in a book!” “It’s still more toward PG-13 than Rated R” (those are real comments)

2.)     The number of votes a sex scene chapter gets vs. all the other. (even first kiss or making out scenes). Those chapters get more reads and votes than the rest of the book.  

OKAY. I’m going to leave this alone for now. I think 6 things is a good start. There might be a part two of this depending on what is….ah….said. So discussion. debates. Words against other words.

Have at me!