Weekly Randoms

Melody's Song

Melody's Song By Sammy_Chan

Total Reads- 105

Total votes- 15

Total Comments- 18

First update- Feb 15, 2012

Last Update- March 4, 2012

PG-13

5 Pages (3 parts)

Romance and Mystery/Suspense

Summary:

Melody's been singing ever since she was adopted at the age of 7...but stopped when her adoptive parents died. And her singing was the cause of their death. It's been 3 years since and she lives with her drunk adoptive sister, and takes care of her sister's 2 kids so she won't be thrown onto the street. She has never sung since their death and only watches others sing...then she meets the new boy in town, who has the most enticing voice she has ever heard...since her own voice. And he takes a certain interest in her. Melody knows she's seen him before and knows spending time with her will hurt him but can't resist. But he seems to know what she is and may help her find out more about who.....or what she is. But will she trust herself to let him in or...not?

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To tell the truth I wasn't all that into this story based off the summary and the prologue didn't help. I believe a re-write is in order for the Prologue at least. I found the 'flash back' to be awkward and not as easy to understand as it should be.

I suggest starting with the flash back like its really happening and then with the commotion at the lockers reveal that the Flash back was Melody's past.

I think that way it would be more dramatic and will draw in more readers.

I think that you're ideas are okay, but your execution needs work.