The Cliche Story Of The Girl Next Door

eleven

*Ryan's Point Of View*

The past few weeks I haven't talked to Jc. But I have been spending more and more time with Mark, Kyle, and Brandon. I've grown so close to them.

But as much as they make me happy, I feel so empty inside. I feel so lonley. And depressed.

I feel empty.

I've fought for so long to get out of this depression. I finally felt better because i started distracting myself with different things. I started writing, drawing, things like that to let all of my emotions out. It made me feel better.

But ever since that fight with Jc, I haven't been able to draw or write. I can't concentrate. I don't know why.

After the fight, we didn't talk for a month. And as much as I hate to say it

I miss him.

-

"Ryan I know your in there. Open up." I hear Kyle's voice outside my front door. Every Friday night me and him will have a movie night. We'll binge watch Netflix while eating pizza and ice cream.

Me and Kyle have gotten really close in the shirt amount of time we've known eachother. I would honestly conciser him my best friend. Even if he doesn't concider me his.

"Kyle I don't think I'm up for it tonight." I say through the closed door. I hear him sigh.

"Ryan, just let me in. Please" he pleaded. This time it was my turn to sigh. I unlocked and slowly opened the door.

"Thank you." He breathes out making me chuckle. We got over and sit on the couch. I sit with my legs crossed facing towards him and he does the same.

"Ryan what's going on with you?" He asked quietly. His eyes met mine.

"What do you mean?" I say playing dumb. I know what he means. I just don't really have an answer. And I honestly don't want to talk about it.

"Dont play dumb Ryan. I know you better than you think. Something's wrong." He said. I sucked in a breathe and looked down. That is almost exactly what Jc said the day after my mom hit me for the first time.

Stop thinking about him.

You know I can't.

"I just..." My voice cracked. I don't know what's going on with me. It's so hard to explain how I feel. And when I do try to explain it to myself, I feel like I'm overreacting or being dramatic. And that's why I can't tell anyone.

I'm afraid that they won't care. That they'll leave. Just like my brother. Just like my mom. Just like my dad.

Shut up you hate him for what he did. To you. To them.

Yeah, I know. But still...

"You know you can talk to me? Right? I'm here no matter what, okay?" Kyle spoke softly. I know I can trust him.

"We're friends right?" I asked him before I could even think. He looked confused but then gave me a small grin.

"The bestest friends." He said. He sounded like a child. I cracked a small smile.

What do I tell him? I don't even know what's wrong. It's just so frustrating. I can't even answer a simple question like 'what's wrong'. Why do I have to be so stupid?

"Sunshine please don't cry." Kyle said bringing his hands up to my cheeks to wipe off tears I didn't even realize we're there. I closed my eyes and let out a breath.

*Kyle's Point Of View*

A few tears fell down her face. My heart broke a little. I hate seeing her so upset. She is my best friend. Even over the guys. I can talk to her, and I can't do that with anyone else. Of course, the guys are like my brothers, but she is...I don't know, different.

I wish she could see herself how I see her. She's so insecure, even though she doesn't think she lets it show.

About two weeks ago, I took Ryan to lunch. It's become a little tradition. Every Tuesday we spend the day together, and every Friday we have a movie night. I've come to love those days more than I should.

I came early so I had to wait for her to get ready. While I was laying on her bed, she was doing her hair at the full length mirror right beside it. I was watching her, just because i had nothing else to do. My heart literally hurt when I saw that she wouldn't look herself in the eyes. She would always look down or at the top of her head. Not really at herself. She doesn't know she's beautiful. She doesn't know she is funny, smart, an talented. She is just amazing.

And no I don't like her like that. I think of her more as a little sister than anything.

She wiped her her face and opened her eyes. I waited patiently for her to talk.

She let out a shaky breath and opened her mouth to speak. "I don't know" she said after a minute. She doesnt know? I looked at her confused.

"I can't explain it. I feel like I'm sinking. Like I'm drowning and everyone around me is just sitting, watching, and waiting for me to sink." She said.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

*Ryan's Point Of View*

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

"You care about me right?" I asked. He didn't hesitate no nod.

"Of coursem" he said. I gave a small smile. It was fake though.

"See I know you care. But in my head and heart it feels like don't. It feels like no one does. It feels like I'm alone. I feel empty." I said. Every word. Every sentence I just said. More and more tears flowed down my cheek.

My eyes went to Kyle's when he cupped my cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumb. He looked sad. He looked like he was going to cry, which only made me cry more.

"Why would you feel that way. You have so many people that care about y-" I stoped him.

"Thats where your wrong." I said quietly. I don't have a lot of people. Just Kyle. And the two other guys.

"You have me. You have Mark and Brandon. You have Jc." He said quietly. I shook my head at the last part. I had Jc. But I had to go and yell at him for no reason, shocked caused this whole fight.

"I'm going to tell you something. Well everything." I said. I need to tell someone. I need to just let everything out. That happened with my dad.

Just everything.

I took a deep breath.