The Cliche Story Of The Girl Next Door

twenty four

"Cam" I called shutting the front door after school. I walk into the kitchen to see my mother sitting at the table. I stay silent, not really sure what to say. She stormed out yesterday and is back now. I slowly start to walk out, making sure to stay quiet so she doesn't hear me.

"Why do you want your brother?" I hear my mom's voice say when I'm almost out of the kitchen. Her voice seem dry, like she's been crying. I walk back into the kitchen to see her still facing the opposite way.

"He left you." She says. "He left you because he hated you." Her words are harsh but calm at the same time.

"He hated you. And your father. He hated you because you were just like him. He hated you because you killed that little girl just as much as he did!" She said screaming. She stood up and faced me. I felt tears in my eyes. But I wouldn't cry. I couldn't. I couldn't give her the satisfaction that her words hurt me.

"I didn't kill her." I whispered, my voice cracking at the end.

"Is that what you tell yourself?" She said laughing bitterly. "You killed that little girl. You put your father in jail. You ruined everyones life." She said taking slow steps towards me. I wanted to run, but my feet wouldn't move. I wanted to scream, but my mouth wouldn't speak. I just stood there, taking her venomous words. I kept trying to myself that what she way saying wasn't true.

It can't be true.

I tried to tell myself it wasn't my fault. Cam didn't leave because he hated me. The accident wasn't my fault. I didn't kill that little girl. I didn't put my dad in jail. I kept repeating those words over and over in my head, but they kept slipping away.

The only thought that seemed to stay was, it is your fault, it's all your fault.

"You ruined my life" she said standing right in front of me now. "Your a disappointment. A horrible daughter. I thought I raised you better-" she didn't even finish her sentence before I snapped.

"Raised me!? You think you raised me? All you've ever done is put me down! Even before the accident, all you did was tell me how much of a disappointment I was. And now you hit me! You hit your own daughter. Don't you think that make you lower than me? Your a disappointment as a mother!" I let the words I've been holding in for years spill out of my mouth. She looked shocked, but I still wasn't done.

"And Cameron didn't leave because of me. He left because of you. He left because you were never home. He left because you took on more work because you said you couldn't even look at us. You said you could even look at your own children because we reminded you of him. He left because he hated you." I spat at her.

I watched as she raised her hand to my face. A stinging sensation spread across my cheek. I didn't flinch though. I just let her hit me. I felt numb as the tears fell down my cheek and I took another hit. I felt my legs go weak after a punch in the stomach. I hit the floor as my vision went a little blurry.

"I. Am. Your. Mother." She said in between kicks. "Dont speak to me that way" she said leaning down so her face was beside mine. I felt her fist connect with my eye.

As messed up as this sounds, the pain felt good. It's like I can just feel her hatred for me in every hit, every punch, every kick she gave me. It's like she's taking all of her anger out on that one last punch that I honestly felt like I deserved. I listened as I heard her heels click down the hallway. I sickly smile spread across my face when I heard the door slam.

I managed to roll over on my back so I was face up. I stared at the ceiling until I finally drifted off into a peaceful world of darkness.

-

Pain.

That's all I felt when I finally opened my eyes after ten minutes of struggling to find enough stregnth.

My whole body ached. Every piece of me. I felt empty. I felt numb. I felt broken.

I am broken.

It took me about thirty minutes to find the strength to push myself up off of the floor. I half limped, half crawled up the stairs. I slowly but surely made my way to the bathroom.

I collapsed on the shower floor, after turning the water on. I leaned my head against the wall and just let the water fall on me. Washing the blood away, washing some of the pain away.

I limped out of the bathroom and into my room. I managed to put in my brothers hoodie and some underwear and fell onto my bed, wincing from the pain.

I let out a deep breath and stare at the ceiling as I start to feel numb.

-

I limp down the stairs after I hear the doorbell ring. I heard Cam come home earlier, but I told him I was doing homework so he wouldn't bother me.

I feel so numb.

No emotions. No pain. No nothing. Just numb.

I open the door to see Dustin standing there leaning against the door frame. He looked at me through his hair and his smile immediately faded.

"Ryan?" He questioned, his voice full of concern. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and I knew it was Cam. I mean, who else would be here?

"Its Dustin" I say, my voice dry and hoarse because of all the crying I did earlier.

I limped into the living room and flung myself down on the couch, waiting for the questions.

"Dustin?!" He asked, I can just hear their excitement rising in his voice. The memories flood back to when the last time they saw eachother, his voice the exact opposite.

"Hey bro" Dustin said cooly. His face breaks out into a grin. I watch as the two long lost best friends reunite. I can feel a small smile form on my lips as all of the good memories we've had come back to me. It immediately leaves when I remember all the bad.

The guys' attention turns back to me. They both take a seat next to me, one on either side. I sit and wait for the questions, but they never come.

I turn my head and look at Dustin. His eyes are trailing over my body, and not like that. He inspects every bruise, every cut.

I turn my head and look at my brother. His eyes are glued to the one place I've tried to hide my whole life. Something told me that he wouldn't say anything right now, so I casually tugged both sleeves down.

"W-what happened?"  Dustin said finally looking at my eyes. I just shrugged. I wasn't about to explain everything. I wasn't about to tell him my problems, because they are my problems. Why would I bother him with that?

Because he cares.

I tried to take over all of my insecure, depressing thoughts. He would care, right? We used to be so close. Me, him, and my brother.

So he does care.

But what if he doesn't?

Just shut up!

"Uh-" I paused to clear my throat. I looked over at my brother, and he looked mad. No. He was raging. I know he knows who did this.

My wonderful mother.

"I'm calling the cops!" My brother suddenly bursted. Dustin looked at him confused, clearly not understanding any of this. I shook my head at my brother.

"No. We can't have two parents in jail." I said. All the numbness has went away now. I wish it would come back. All the emotions are hitting me at once and my heart feels heavy. Memories from when i told Kyle about my past came back and deja vu passes through.

I take a deep breath, now ready to answer both of there confused looks.